Time Spent in Connecticut

Friday, October 8, 2010

Hartford CT – We flew from Sioux Falls, SD to Hartford, CT for this weekend’s Donor Appreciation Luncheons. Dominic, one of our seniors in High School, had never flown before, and was quite excited about the experience.

The highlight of the day was visiting the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield Massachusetts. One display case celebrated Indiana High School basketball, remembering the Milan Miracle that inspired the movie “Hoosiers”. I thought of the day Dad and I stopped by Milan and I heard the story of the underdogs who beat the giants. My favorite personality to remember was former UCLA coach John Wooden. Besides being a winning coach, he taught his players good lessons about life. “Things work out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out,” or “failure to prepare is preparing to fail”.

The boys at the Basketball Hall of Fame

The center of the museum contained a court for people to play and reminisce. I even hit a few three pointers. Dean enjoyed the rims that were lowered so he could dunk.

Our chaperones, Steve and Jan, used to live on the outskirts of Hartford, and we drove by their old homestead and let them tell a few stories about their life before they came to St. Joseph’s. We finished up the day with supper at a restaurant near a mall, and a chance for the students to look for a few souvenirs to take home as mementos.

An End to Clergy Days

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I stopped by the 1st grade classroom to lead the kids in singing Happy Birthday to Shelby, their teacher. I only wish I could get them to sing that loudly and enthusiastically in church! Shelby got called out of the room for a while, and I was left with a pointer and smart board, so I reviewed all the “sight words” such as have, did, see, am . . . All the students were very enthusiastic about being called upon, and I had fun in front of a class for the first time in a while.

We wrapped up Clergy Days with some time with our Bishop. One resolution I came away with was to step up my efforts in support of other clergy, and to encourage others that this serving God and people through church is not only a worthwhile life, but a highly satisfying one. Much is written of scandals and difficulties, but being a priest has brought me lots of fulfillment and so many rich encounters with people.

Healing Racism

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Afternoon brought a break from our Clergy Days meetings, and I came back to campus to check on things.

St. Joseph’s is hosting a workshop called “Healing Racism.” We’re starting with a mixed group of our own staff, some of our students’ parents, and key people in the community. It’s a key issue in our part of the world, and I suspect in many others as well. We try to teach our students to see beyond externals and come to know and appreciate people from different backgrounds. In order to do that with credibility, we have to model those ourselves. I dropped by to see how it was going. One of our parents found it intense, because it raised feelings she usually tried to put aside. But she agreed it was helpful to do so in a supportive environment.  

Tonight the Chamberlain Knights of Columbus hosted all the priests of the diocese for a steak fry at St. James Parish center. The Knights do many charitable projects, like helping with the Special Olympics, and try to be supportive of priests and vocations. Gathered around small tables, the evening gave me the chance to get to know many of the priests across the Eastern half of the state that I don’t get to spend much time with. Lots of them impressed me as being so committed and passionate about passing on the faith.

Education workshops

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Before I was off for my day of continuing education workshops, St. Joseph’s had our staff appreciation breakfast at the dining hall. I enjoy seeing our students sitting at table with staff from different departments that they don’t interact with on a daily basis, like maintenance workers or folks in the business office. I wandered the tables and thanked everyone I saw for their work. I reminded the students to make sure to say thanks as well. It takes a whole lot of us with many different talents to make achieve success at the school.

It’s been up to a year since I’ve seen many of the other priests from the more distant areas of the diocese. Many came up to ask for a health update. I’ve had lots of prayers and support that’s helped pull me through. I appreciated their asking.

Dr. Marcie Moran gave a wonderful talk about grief. She used such every day examples that we could all relate, either through people we’ve worked with or from our own experiences. It may have different expressions and different intensities, but grief touches and shapes all our lives. We need the support of others during those times that seem impossible to get through.

The best part of gatherings like these is chatting with folks over a meal or during breaks. Fr. Ed was an Anesthesiologist for many years before he decided to become a priest. He joked that he’s still putting people to sleep; only he doesn’t charge anything for it now! With a sense of humor like that, I doubt that many folks are lulled to sleep during his homilies.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Our two visiting exchange students from Germany, Jana and Thekla, gave presentations to our students about their school and life back in Handrup. They showed pictures of their school and homes and families. Their churches are much older than we have been a country.  I sat in with the 1st – 4th graders to listen and learn. Afterwards came time for questions. Our youngest kids asked things like “Do you have any stores in your town?” or, “Do you have any place to ride 4 wheelers?”  and “What is your dog’s name?” Germany seems so far out of the world view or many of our students, but we keep trying to expand their horizons. I complimented Jana and Thekla for their ability to present in a 2nd language.

We began our annual continuing education days for the clergy of the Sioux Falls Diocese. The conference is being held just across the Missouri River in Oacoma, so I don’t have a long commute. At evening prayer we remembered by name all the priests who worked in the diocese and are now deceased. The ones I know brought back many memories. Tonight we had a jubilee dinner for priests and deacons who celebrated silver and golden anniversaries. Each had a chance to get up and say a few words of reflection about how they have been blessed by those they’ve served. As with any service profession, I’m edified by the goodness and generosity and faith. When I look at their example, it stirs me to do better.

Remembering a Lakota Deacon

Sunday, October 3, 2010

After mass I joined the Rooney Home for brunch. These junior high boys are all into football this time of year, both playing on the fields, and following their favorite teams. Word got around that I had a batch of football cards donated, and Josh was wondering if I had any of his favorite team. Soon many of the boys were naming their favorite teams and asking about cards. I talked to the house parents and went home and gathered up some cards that they can use as rewards if those students maintain good grades and good behavior. Incentives can be a good thing.

I spent a good deal of time in the office this afternoon. I like Sundays to be a day of rest, but we have our Clergy Days, donor luncheons in Connecticut and our Board of Directors meeting coming up in quick succession, and I feel anxious about all that needs to be done. When I get that anxious feeling the best thing for me is just to dive in and get done what I can. I did meet with Dean and Dominic, the two High School students who will represent St. Joseph’s at the luncheons, and had them practice what they want to say to our donors. They’re both excited.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Ted Knife, a Lakota Deacon I used to work with on Cheyenne River Reservation, died after a long illness. I traveled to Red Scaffold for his funeral. It has been some time since I’ve been back to that community. When I arrived I could see the steam from the huge kettles boiling outside, cooking the beef to feed everyone afterwards. The men were standing around, stirring the pot and adding wood to the fire, remembering and telling stories. Like many funerals, besides the sadness, there are times when it feels like a family reunion because you get to see many people that were an important part of your life.

I remember Ted’s laughter and jovial nature, but he could also lecture and scold when he saw things he didn’t think were right. Ted served on the Tribal Council for many years and one of the former Tribal Chairmen said that he was often the conscience of the council, reminding them that to do right for the people, they had to do right by God.

 Ted was buried in a simple, yet beautiful pine box, with his cattle brand emblazoned on the outside. The casket was lowered by hand into the grave behind the church where he preached and gave so much of himself for the 23 years he was ordained. The casket bearers passed around shovels and covered the grave themselves.

The hall was decorated with many star quilts and blankets covering the walls. After the meal I was one of those honored with the gift of a quilt. I was grateful to be able to be with the family and community on this day.

Retiring staff, parades and visitors

Friday, October 1, 2010

One of our staff, Avis, retired from her work at the Thrift Store. We held an open house at the store, and lots of people from the school and from town took the time to stop in for punch and cookies, show their appreciation, and wish Avis well in her new adventure.  A kind and cheerful person can make such a nice difference no matter what their line of work. We always hate to say goodbye to our staff members, but are happy for them when they move on to something they’re looking forward to.

Today was Chamberlain High School’s Homecoming. Our Royalty from powwow got to ride in the back of a truck, and I met up with them for pictures for the yearbook.  Fr. Anthony and I then parked lawn chairs on main street in front of the Catholic Church, joined by Fr. Mark. We had plenty of candy thrown our way, and notepads and other mementos from people campaigning for State office. The church is at the intersection where the parade started and we got a great view of the floats and cars as they loaded up. Our football players rode atop the fire trucks. Our two student cheerleaders had their own float, and a few others were on their class float. We gave our St. Joseph’s Elementary students time off to enjoy the mild day and walk downtown to take part in the festivities.

The football team played defense with heart, but couldn’t score and wound up on the short end of a 7-0 score.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

After morning physical therapy, they measured the angles that I’m able to pull back my ankle, and my hamstring. We’re making slow and steady progress, though I’m sure the next few degrees will be slower and more stubborn.

We had a sack lunch for our supervisors today. The topic was organizational Philosophy, and the general questions were “How can I live out the spirit of Fr. Dehon (founder of my religious order) in my day to day work?” Besides the how to of child care or development, the underlying motivation and spirit with which we do that work is essential as well. When I see our staff getting excited about learning and sharing with others, it provides motivation for me as well to be rooted more deeply in that spirit.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Katrin, the chaperone from our sister school in Handrup Germany stopped by my office to deliver a card from one of their faculty members who spent a semester teaching here at St. Joseph’s. I enjoyed the chance to chat and get to know here better. She is a graduate of the Gymnasium Leonium, and after completing her University studies, came back home to teach. We keep hoping for and working toward the day when we see more of our alumni in teaching and leadership positions here and back home in the years to come.

Robert is a former parishioner from up in Promise on the Cheyenne River Reservation. He is now a counselor and more in the Catholic School system in Rapid City. Robert was in town for a conference and Barb, his superintendent, could take me out for dinner. I met them at the museum after they had some time to browse and enjoy. We took a quick tour of campus, and I got the 4th and 5th grade Summerlee girls to give them a tour of their home. Our students are our best ambassadors. They excitedly showed the home and spoke of the many activities that go on there. LaChastity even sang a lovely song for them. Afterwards I sure enjoyed an evening of delightful and stimulating conversation as we swapped stories and ideas.

Keeping up during busy times

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I had more than the usual amount of computer messages waiting for me when I came into the office today. No sooner would I take care of one than another would pop up. It felt like treading water all day. I start the day with big plans and end up doing what’s asked of me ten and fifteen minutes at a time. But it’s the little things done well and with care that God asks of us.

With meetings and projects the past two days I haven’t gotten in a lot of quality time with the students, but one remedy when that happens is at least going to the school at the end of the day. I can say hello to all the kids as they make their way from the classrooms to the homes. It helps me make sure I remember names, and work on the children’s names that still escape my memory.

 Monday, September 27, 2010

 For the past 17 years, Karla has been cleaning our business office for a few hours each day. Karla participates in Dakota Milestones, a program which helps adults with developmental disabilities be an active part of the community. Today we gathered in the break room for cake and festivities as she finishes up her time at St. Joseph’s. She was tickled with the cake, balloons and cards.

I met with our director of development about finances. The time between the start of the school year until Christmas is our busy mail season. While many cards and letters are coming in, our mailing costs are high. We just have to stay the course and trust that the money coming in covers the bills now and gets us through the slower months. People have been very generous to St. Joseph’s Indian School and for all the help and support I am grateful.

I played a 15 minute round of cards with the facilities crew during afternoon break. Afterwards one of the guys shared part of his personal story that led me to understand him in a whole new light. When others face illness and suffering and overcome it, sometimes heroically that sure inspires me to keep going.

I ended the day at the girl’s volleyball game. We played Chamberlain. With some of our staff’s children playing against us, I ended up cheering for both sides, but certainly louder for St. Joseph’s. Our 7th graders are a powerhouse and continued to roll. The 8th graders took one game but lost the match. They hustled and tried hard, which is what we ask and expect of all our students.

A Week’s Review

I can hardly believe it’s already been more than a week since our 34th annual wacipi powwow!

Last week, we were all still basking in the glow of another successful event. But, we didn’t bask long. As quick as we could, we all jumped right back in to the work at hand.

Weekend Solitude and Reflections
Since last weekend was so busy with the powwow, this past weekend was more on the veg out/caveman side! The house was very quiet.

Fr. Anthony was away for his nephew’s confirmation, and Brother Clay was gone for an overnight spiritual direction.

I do very well around crowds and people, but I do have an introverted side that has no problem with time spent alone!

Fr. Bernie did drop in from Lower Brule on Saturday. We caught up on the work in the outlying missions. All of that is an important part of what we do here at St. Joseph’s, even if we do have less staff working in those areas than we do right here at the school.

“Football Fellowship” – as Fr. Mark, who is helping at St. James downtown, calls it – was also a welcome time of solitude and normalcy for me!

At Sunday morning Mass, I had the special privilege of welcoming Jana and Thekla, two high school students from Germany, and their chaperone Katrin.

We have a sister school also run by the SCJs in Handrup, Germany, and for the past four years, we have sponsored student exchanges.

The gals will be here for a little over two weeks as they try to experience as many different tastes of Lakota culture and South Dakota life as possible! Even before they could adjust to the time change, they were headed west to the Black Hills and the Buffalo Roundup at Custer State Park.

Hopefully, we’ll be able to send two more of our students overseas to the school in Handrup next June.

With no particular agenda or hurry, I made my way around campus for a lazy Sunday afternoon. It was an absolutely lovely day – 75 degrees, sunny and just a light breeze!

Life is fuller and more satisfying when I don’t feel rushed. And, the walking was good for me to boot!

Working with Families
A week ago, we met with our Parents Advisory Council. Twice a year, we invite a group of parents to an all-day meeting where we seek their feedback on how we can better meet the needs of the children.

One of the more emotional discussions came during the time we spent talking about grief and abandonment issues. Even when coming to St. Joseph’s is in a child’s best interest, it is emotionally tough for both the student and the family.

One of our council members shared how hard it was for her to be raised by her grandmother. A grandmother on our council – who has raised her grandchild since birth – talked of the struggle she faced to keep her granddaughter in our care when the child wanted to come home.

We also had honest and insightful conversation about racial issues our students face. The parents recalled how hard that was in their own lives. They stressed the need to build up self-confidence and esteem so our students can hold their head high and not be devastated when others make biting or cruel remarks.

This Parent Advisory Council meeting was compelling for all of us!

Looking Back to Improve the Future
We also spent time last week reviewing our powwow weekend activities.

Our powwow committee consists of almost 20 members. It takes the coordination of every department on campus to make this annual event a success. From the first invitations we mail through the drumming and dancing and right up until the last piece of garbage has been picked up and the thank yous have been sent, all of us must work together.

When we sat down to review how the weekend went. We realized, even though we’ve been doing this for 34 years, there are still changes we can make to help it all go more smoothly.

Of course, we also made sure to give praise where it was due for the many things that went well. Then, we dug in to the constructive criticisms and suggestions, which led us to some great problem-solving. With many different perspectives, we’re fortunate to cover all bases; we’re already looking forward to next year!

Getting Back to the Routine
Because of our September 18 powwow, I’ve spent little time in the office, and I paid the price early last week with lots of paperwork, phone calls and meetings. Fortunately, I was able to cap such a long day with a picnic for our mentor program.

It was such a lovely celebration, especially considering that only three days before we were all in coats and gloves at the powwow! During the picnic, I wore shorts and basked in the warm sunshine. After sharing great food, we brought out lawn games and just enjoyed time together.

In addition to sharing time with our mentor program participants, I took time last week to check up on things in Central Receiving. During our powwow, many friends brought needed items for our students, so we’re well-stocked for the kids.

When I was there last week, one of our junior high boys’ homes was there on a shopping expedition. Each boy had a small bag in hand and was picking up what they needed.

Teenage boys are hardest on socks and the knees in their pants! Some are also growing so fast that they will go through several different sizes during the course of the year.

The boys were appreciative of all the toiletries and clothing that had been so generously given for their needs!

Quality Time with the Children
Since I try to spend time with the children whenever possible, I ate supper with the girls in Matthias Home last Wednesday evening. Afterwards, a few of them wanted to go outside to Fisher Field and play a bit before homework time. We tossed a Frisbee back and forth.

Playing with the students keeps me young and is good for my rehab. When I tried to catch the disk in flight, my vertical leap was almost non-existent! It will be awhile before I play basketball again, but this gives me a goal to work on.

After our Frisbee playing, I stopped by the Rec Center to check out the enrichment activity for our primary grades. Each of the children had a foam noodle – like you use in the swimming pool – and were giggling as they tried to balance them, run around them and jump back and forth. They sure have lots of energy!

When 71-year-old Jerry came in to the gym, the kids sang “Happy Birthday” to him. We all laughed afterward as they started, “Are you one? Are you two? Are you three …” Lest we be there all night, Jerry stopped them at 29 and said he was holding there.

Jerry has been a wonderful part of our sports and recreation program for so many years! We’re glad to have long-term staff members like him and many others on our team!!

My evening in the William Home (4-5 grade girls) was also a fun way to get back in my routine last week! The girls are fun, energetic and chatty! I don’t have to do much more than sit down, and they are telling me all sorts of tales about themselves and the events around their home and school.

Yesterday (Sunday, September 26), as I enjoyed the lovely weather, first grader Dora showed me her sidewalk chalk drawing. Then, a group of fourth graders had me look at a turtle they’d found. I also stopped off to see the painted T-shirt projects our Girl Scouts were creating.

I checked in with staff who talked about children who are having a hard time or friends and relatives in need of prayer.

I purposely try to slow down and be present to the folks I meet whenever I can.

Sharing and Teaching Pasttimes
One of my favorite activities last week was fitting in a guitar lesson with Nate, one of our houseparents. Nate is learning to play more often for Mass.

I miss doing that more myself! Ever since I became a priest, my time behind the altar has lessened the time I spend behind the guitar.

If you’re wondering, be assured my physical therapy continues! Last week, I met up with a therapist I had not seen yet. I tried a few new exercises and realized I definitely have room for impromvement.

Powwow weekend

Sunday, September 19, 2010
 
We finished up our powwow weekend with our regular Sunday morning mass. We were joined by a lot of visitors who were able to stay and take part. With our students and circle of supporters together in one place, in prayer, I felt very uplifted. Shaking hands after church I also got loads of hugs and support as people said goodbye. I stayed quite a while afterwards to take pictures and answer questions.

After all the activity I felt tired and took it easy the rest of the day. The last few days I haven’t kept up too much on reading, and I went through the accumulated stack of newspapers and periodicals that were on the coffee table. There’s so much I don’t know, which is humbling. But it encourages me, and I encourage others, to be lifelong learners.

Saturday, September 18, 2010
 
Rain overnight and temperatures in the 40’s when we lined up for the Grand Entry made for a cold day. But it couldn’t dampen people’s spirits as our 34th annual powwow went forward. But at least it stayed dry and allowed the dancers to demonstrate their skill and commitment. We have a wonderful video recap that can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59wKfWH_amw .

I was blessed with seven members of my family present to share in the day. I only saw them for brief periods of time, as I tried to visit with donors, students and their families. I also tried to check in with staff to make sure things were going ok. We’re good at improvising to meet needs. Someone even went up to Central Receiving and came back loaded with blankets and gloves to people who were caught unexpected by the cold. My sister Mary had earlier gone through every coat and jacket in my closet digging out gloves to ensure warmth for all my family.

I just enjoy watching our students and area youth dance with such joy and enthusiasm. One of our new 7th graders was so filled with energy and excitement she even danced on the sidelines when the boys were competing. The smiles as kids come out for the Grand Entry are infectious.

Our St. Joseph’s Drum Group, the Chalk Hills Singers, made their debut. They only learned one song, but sang it with great gusto during an inter tribal dance. One student commented afterward “that was fun – I can’t wait to do it again!” That’s what we hope for – that learning about culture can be fun and meaningful. I stood by the drum in support and got quite choked up a couple of times.

When we handed out the awards at the end of the day, I was happy for not just those students who won, but by all who were winners because they are dancers. I’m grateful for our visitors who shared in the experience with us.

Friday, September 17, 2010

The festivities for our 34th annual powwow kicked off today. This morning we hosted a series of four cultural activities at the Rec. Center. Donors learned how to build their own dreamcatcher, play some traditional Lakota games, learn some drum songs, or spend time with our Child Services Staff for questions and answers.

Since standing for long periods still hurts the nerves in my leg, I grabbed a high backed stool and sat in the museum by the reception desk so I could greet folks as they came in. The stream was steady, but with a little time between guests, I got to visit and say hello. Some people are regulars year after year. One woman from Connecticut has been helping for 43 years and this was her first actual visit to St. Joseph’s. She was very excited.

Our students led groups on tours of the school in the afternoon. I’m sure folks got a different perspective than if our staff had given the tour.After school we gathered in the Rec. Center for the crowning of our Royalty for the powwow. These students represent the school for the coming year, and are all active dancers. They are chosen for their good attitudes and commitment to Lakota and St. Joseph’s values.

Jasmine Pickner, a world champion Hope Dancer gave a stirring performance for the assembly. She taught our students not just Hoop Dancing, but traditional values. She had a wonderful way with the young people and visitors alike.

We ended the evening with a banquet across the river at Cedar Shores Resort. Different groups we do business with donate each year to allow us to treat our guests to a festive meal. We had over 300 gather for hors d’oeuvres, a meal, and a presentation on dance styles and regalia for the powwow.

Active campus

Thursday, September 16, 2010

 Before my family headed west to see Mount Rushmore, I gave them a campus tour. Upon seeing many buildings and learning of our many different programs my Uncle Mick asked what went through my mind when I was asked to consider the director’s job. There is a lot that goes into understanding the different departments and coordinating staff so they work together to achieve common goals. While it can get complicated, the staff here is each good in their areas. I don’t know much about plumbing, accounting, or even teaching. But we have plenty of people who do. What I try to provide is leadership and inspiration. As I look back over the past 6 years, I have learned a lot.

I went to the museum and people were already coming in to register. In the first few minutes my arms were full with a jar of homemade jam, a Red Sox shirt from two feisty donors who know I’m a White Sox fan, pictures, and a couple of books on surviving cancer.

My cousin Fiona and husband Larry were the next wave of relatives to arrive. Word has spread around family that people have a great time during the powwow and it’s become a fun time for me to see different relatives. We had supper at Cyr home and they got a tour from two lively 5th grade boys.

After the girls volleyball game we had a dance troupe presentation. Delwin Fiddler, one of our alumni, and his wife has been working with our students all week teaching dance moves and hoop dancing. We got a demonstration from him, and then many of our kids got out on the gym floor and showed off moves they’ve learned this week. It was real treat.

 Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Every four months we pull together all the efforts in achieving the goals for our Vision 2012 Strategic Plan. Since the last update in May, I haven’t been able to contribute so much, but everyone else has. Working at our goals slowly and surely, when you look back at all that’s been done, there is good progress.

I had supper tonight in the Dennis Home (1st-3rd grade girls). For tonight’s enrichment lesson the girls were learning social skills – how to answer questions and have a conversation when they meet new people. I got to be their practice partner, and pretend not to know them at all. (It also helped me reinforce the names of the new students, since I still don’t have all of the names matched with the right children). Some are shy and can only give one word answers. Some are chatty and a question serves to let them tell you all kinds of things. The homes frequently work on social skills that our children need to give them self confidence and be able to make their way in the world.

 After a 12 hour drive mom and dad, Uncle Mick and Aunt Betty arrived for the powwow. The car was all loaded up with items they were donating, so we stopped and Central Receiving and unloaded. When they got to the winter coats, they reconsidered. With the unseasonably cool and wet weather they thought they might need the coats themselves. When they leave in a few days, they’ll return them “gently used”.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

 Our meetings today were more updates than any decisions. Everyone on campus is working towards a successful powwow weekend and we’re mostly making sure things are on track.

Tonight was our first Football game of the season. After a defensive struggle and scoreless first half, the Braves got three touchdowns against Crow Creek and won 18 – 0. I usually stand on the sidelines with the team. My foot was hurting, so I sat in the bleachers instead. I enjoyed talking to families who live close enough to come and see their sons on the field. Two of our former students were playing for Crow Creek, so I made sure to say hi to them.

 The team celebrated their win in picnic style after the game with houseparent’s grilled hamburgers and hot dogs in the pavilion.