Fr. Steve’s updates

Radiation takes only 15 minutes a day. So far, I still feel good, and every day that I do, I count as a real blessing, helping me on the way to getting through the whole thing.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Radiation takes only 15 minutes a day. I did have another consultation with the doctor to check on how I’m holding up.

There’s not a whole lot to report yet. Other residents of the Lodge say that as time goes on the effects of radiation accumulate and you feel more drained and start to have stronger side effects.

So far, I still feel good, and every day that I do, I count as a real blessing, helping me on the way to getting through the whole thing.

Spring is trying to break out, and I took a long walk this afternoon. The warmth and sunshine felt invigorating.

This evening at supper another group volunteered to cook us dinner. I’m getting spoiled, and losing too much weight has not been a problem for me yet.

We also welcomed back the folks who returned from a weekend at home, and some of the new people who are just arriving and settling in to begin their treatments.

Fr. Steve’s updates

Jesus prayed those words on the cross, and they sound so full of agony. But, when you read the entire psalm, after deep and honest soul searching the psalmist comes to a deeper trust of God.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Palm Sunday, and the readings focused on the Passion. The 22nd  Psalm, used as a Response, stood out most for me – “My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?”

Jesus prayed those words on the cross, and they sound so full of agony. But, when you read the entire psalm, after deep and honest soul searching the psalmist comes to a deeper trust of God.

When we’re sick or in trouble, it’s OK to bring our groaning and frustration before the Lord. And God can turn our cries into an experience of letting go and letting God.

God can turn our cries into an experience of letting go and letting God

Reflecting on the experience here, there is plenty of goodness, kindness and beauty, which helps. Yet, each day, I face the reality of the cancer and a serious surgery eventually coming up.

Like the passion, it’s ultimately about dying and rising. The cancerous part of me must die before new and healthy cells can be reborn.

On the spiritual side, Lent reminds us that we all have parts of ourselves that must die in order to produce new life – the self-centeredness and laziness, those areas where we are tempted and sin. That’s what I’ve been most aware of on this journey of 40 days and beyond.

Fr. Steve’s updates

This morning, I prayed and did a fair amount of spiritual reading. The challenge is to do that consistently, even on days when I don’t feel reflective, because it helps keep me going through the hard times.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Some days are very quiet and if I want, I can use the time almost like a retreat.

This morning, I prayed and did a fair amount of spiritual reading. The challenge is to do that consistently, even on days when I don’t feel reflective, because it helps keep me going through the hard times.

My dad’s cousin Julie lives just an hour and a half away. With no treatments, I hit the road and had no problems traveling.

After a delicious home-cooked meal, we spent time in their rec room with a CD of her nephew Neil singing Irish music in the background. Every nook and cranny of the walls are full of memorabilia leading to stories – the picture of her brother’s naval ship from the time everyone surprised him at port for his birthday, the trip to the Oslo Olympics to see our cousin speed skate, the autographed baseball from a visit to Chicago … many family stories are so good you want to regularly hear them again, and the laughter left me feeling wonderfully blessed.

Fr. Steve’s updates

One week of radiation down and four to go! Getting well from this cancer is not a sprint, but more like a marathon that requires the discipline of a steady pace.

Friday, March 26, 2010

For lunch the local community of Franciscan Sisters invited me to their place.

Asissi Heights houses their retirement community, administration, retreat center and much more. I met one sister who was 102 and was so impressed thinking of all those years of dedicated service to God’s people by these women of faith.

I was impressed to learn of their history in helping found the Clinic and of the many great works they are involved in today to help serve God’s people.

The clinic schedules early appointments on Fridays for those who are heading home for the weekend. Since it’s a six hour trip for me, I won’t go home that often, so I didn’t have treatment until this afternoon.

One week of radiation down and four to go!

Fr. Bernie keeps reminding me to “hang tough.” Getting well from this cancer is not a sprint, but more like a marathon that requires the discipline of a steady pace.

A group of nursing students visited Hope Lodge and brought a tasty variety of breads and soups for supper. They volunteer once a month and brought good cheer to our space. Many residents have already gone home for the weekend and will return Monday. But there are plenty who stay because they live too far away or are too weak to comfortably travel.

Some folks have treatments throughout the weekend. Though our group at supper was small, the time with these generous volunteers was most appreciated.

Fr. Steve’s updates

Both areas have a tremendous beauty and speak to me of God’s greatness. I feel small when I’m part of the vast landscape, but also part of something much bigger than myself.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

After radiation today, I met with an oncologist R.N. who was very helpful coaching me in practical things – what kinds of foods to eat or avoid eating these next few weeks, what kind of soap and skin care lotions work best for avoiding drying effects of radiation, drinks that will help keep me hydrated etc. The staff continues to give us tools to help us get through the rough spots.

By 10, I was done with my medical appointments for the day, so Fr. Jerry and I took a short trip to get out of the city and enjoy some country sunshine. When traveling with a friend, the time passes so quickly.

We ended up in the town of Winona overlooking the mighty Mississippi  River. The bluffs are much higher than back home on the banks for the Missouri, and here the trees are thick and plentiful.

Both areas have a tremendous beauty and speak to me of God’s greatness. I feel small when I’m part of the vast landscape, but also part of something much bigger than myself.

Another place of beauty we found was the local Maritime Museum, with wonderful paintings and displays. The galleries featured nature scenes, impressionist paintings and some incredibly detailed paintings of historical ships.

While I never developed my own artistic skills, I appreciate the work of others. Beauty helps heal us – body and soul. I appreciated being absorbed in activities that completely took me away from thinking about medicine and doctors.

Beauty helps heal us – body and soul.

Fr. Steve’s updates

Surgery is still needed because of the size. My body can’t get rid of all of it without some major help. But, we are winning the initial battles.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

My radiologist met with me today to review what’s been happening with the tumor. She is very encouraged by last week’s MRI that is already showing shrinkage. It’s hoped the radiation will continue to kill off more of the cells.

Surgery is still needed because of the size. My body can’t get rid of all of it without some major help. But, we are winning the initial battles.

I see some residents frequently, especially the ones with whom I share a kitchen and section of dining room. As we get to know each other better, it’s relaxing to share a cup of tea or talk over a sandwich. We support and encourage one another.

A good friend from Chicago, Fr. Jerry, arrived this afternoon to spend a couple of days. I so look forward to having the chance to share the highs and lows with someone who has been part of my life journey for a long time and knows me well.

Fr. Steve’s updates

In this Lenten season, we continually hear the call to overcome temptation. Difficulties and setbacks can weigh us down and push us toward giving up hope and sinking low. But, blessing and good news are just a prayer away when we trust and ask for help when life starts to feel burdensome.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

After radiology, my technician spoke of some of the pitfalls of this treatment. You’re away from home and out of your normal routine. You don’t have your usual support system and familiar environment. At times, you get fatigued from the medicine and feel very bored.

My technician told me it’s important to acknowledge all that and ask for help when it starts to weigh you down.

In this Lenten season, we continually hear the call to overcome temptation. Difficulties and setbacks can weigh us down and push us toward giving up hope and sinking low. But, blessing and good news are just a prayer away when we trust and ask for help when life starts to feel burdensome.

Tonight, the Lodge held a pot luck, and I cooked up some chicken and vegetable soup that went over OK. The dinner provided a good excuse for everyone to come to the dining area at the same time to offer some support and get to know one another. Folks come from such a variety of backgrounds and from all over.

I’m a people person and enjoyed hearing so many different stories from all walks of life.

After supper, a group of young girls from a local Brownie troop stopped by to offer us Girl Scout Cookies and spend some time cheering everyone up.

Fr. Steve’s updates

A patient at Hope Lodge spoke of how people most appreciate the financial savings staying here allows. But the far more important part, he explained, is the sense of community and support.

Monday, March 22, 2010

My first radiation treatment was easy and uneventful. I’m told it usually takes a couple of weeks for the more irritating side effects to start to kick in.

The nurses put some relaxing music on the speaker as I laid still in the forms molded to keep me from moving around. Fifteen minutes later, I walked out the door to enjoy a sunny spring day, not feeling in any way different.

I was talking to Bob, one of the other patients here at Hope Lodge. He spoke of how, at first, people most appreciate the financial savings staying here allows. But the far more important part, he explained, is the sense of community and support.

“On your good days you can help others through, and on your bad days, no matter what you’re going through, you can find somebody that can identify, advise or help.”

So needed over the long haul!

I’m so used to helping others. It’s different when I’m the recipient.

A group came in tonight and prepared a huge meal for all the residents here. Different church groups and charities do that regularly. The festive food and atmosphere gave the dining hall a party atmosphere and helped people mingle and get to know one another.

Fr. Steve’s updates

At church today, two Gospel Readings from Lazarus struck me in a powerful new way, with a lot of hope.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

At church today, two Gospel Readings from Lazarus struck me in a powerful new way, with a lot of hope.

“This Illness is not to end in death; rather it is for God’s Glory.”

My constant prayer through this whole ordeal has been that the journey leads me closer to God and that each day of life God gives me on earth, be it one day or 50 years, serves to give God glory.

Today, I visited Kent and his family, former parishioners from my days in Dupree, SD. Kent had cancer surgery and is in recovery. We mutually encouraged one another. It was fun to catch up with his family and find out what many of the people I remember and think about are up to.

Tonight, the local pastor invited me over to supper where a group of 10 priests gathered for their monthly time of fellowship and faith sharing. I so appreciated the welcome and camaraderie.

Priests, as a whole, are an interesting lot. The writer Tim Unsworth describes us as having the training of a doctor or lawyer, but walking the streets with people like a beat cop – being there with folks during the high and low points of their life.

The men I was with tonight had a passion for their work and people. The main topic of conversation when priests get together these days is wondering who in the next generation will hear the call as priests, brothers and sisters and continue on this fulfilling work.

Fr. Steve’s updates

One said that though everyone here is dealing with cancer, there’s a very positive attitude in this place with lots of caring and, of course, HOPE.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

I got the call from the American Cancer Society’s Hope Lodge today! After a referral from my radiologist and some waiting, a room opened up for me. I moved my belongings over and began to settle in to my home for the next five weeks. It does feel quite homey, even if there are 60 guest rooms in the facility!

Each of us has a comfortable room and space in the kitchen to store our food supplies. Many people travel home on weekends, so it’s been a little quiet, but I started to get to know some of the other residents. One said that though everyone here is dealing with cancer, there’s a very positive attitude in this place with lots of caring and, of course, HOPE.

I’ve known Gail, my aunt’s sister, since I could walk, and she now lives near the hospital. Gail invited me over for a home-cooked meal and some long overdue catching up conversation. The best part was chatting with everyone over the kitchen counter while many hands went into preparing a delightful meal.

Food always tastes best when shared with people you care about.