Silent Witness program

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Sacred Heart Center’s mission is to eradicate violence in the community, especially within families. Today we heard that when it comes to violent crimes and sexual assault, Native American women have the highest rate of victimization from such crimes out of all the different groups in the entire country. The center runs some quality programs for prevention, education, and protection to fight against that scourge, and has been doing so for almost 30 years.

One of the staff told us about the Silent Witness program. The South Dakota coalition against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault has created silhouettes of women, children, and the occasional man who die in South Dakota as the result of domestic violence. On these wooden cutouts you can read their story, which certainly tugs at the heart. These “Silent Witnesses” speak loudly about the dangers in our community, and call forth in a loud voice for us to work together to stop violence and strengthen families.

We enjoyed lunch with all the staff. Some of the folks I’ve known for a long time – like Tina remembering her wedding 25 years ago. Other staff are new to the program, like Tammy, who comes from a social service background and will be working with the adolescents. I was heartened in hearing of all their efforts.

Applauding Their Efforts

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

In reservation communities, housing is in short supply and it is not uncommon to find an extended family up to 15 people sharing a two bedroom home.  The parents of one of our students finally got an apartment to move into and called to see if we could help them with any basic household supplies like bedding and plates. Because people know we will get those kinds of items to people in need, we do get enough drop offs to help from time to time. I am glad when we are able to be the bridge between those who have extra and those who are in need. 

As we started the 2nd quarter, a few students transferred to other schools. One of the main reasons was homesickness. Sometimes it is too hard for a child to be away from family, and sometimes it’s the family who misses the child too much. We have openings throughout the year, and our admissions committee is at work going over the waiting list and prioritizing which students have a greater need to be here. Our overall average length of stay for students is about 5 years, but we try to serve them well whether they’re here for a semester or all 12 years.

Tonight was our last volleyball game of the season. Like many of our other staff and students, I was in the stands to cheer the teams on. Due to distances or family circumstances, we don’t normally have a large number of parents in the stands, so it’s all the more important that we as staff applaud their efforts.

Winter Isn’t To Far Off!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Our nights are crisp and cold, yet the days are sunny and warm. As I walked to the office, I ran into Quentin, our electrician, and asked him what projects he’s working on. He’s switching all our systems over to heat now. With the number of homes and buildings we have on campus that’s no small task. It is a sign that winter isn’t too far off.

I spent the morning at the business office going over the weekly financial information. One of our newest employees is a young woman recently out of college. She celebrated a birthday on Sunday, so I stopped by her desk to say a special hello. When I asked how her weekend was, she was so enthusiastic that her celebration included a family gathering on the home farm for a pheasant hunt. They had a lovely day together and were able to get enough birds for many meals. I’m not a hunter, and stereotypically think of most hunters as older men. In this part of the world it’s more of a family tradition. In the Lakota tradition, many of our students learn to hunt at a young age, maybe not with bow and arrow as their ancestors once did, but still with a spirit of respect and gratitude for the animals and birds that give up their lives that the people may live.

Tea Party with the Dennis Home

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I presided and preached at mass this morning. I do appreciate the weeks Fr. Anthony preaches, for it means a break from preparing a weekend homily. But,  I feel more connected to the congregation when I reflect on our lives here at St. Joseph’s in light of the scriptures.

Afterwards, I had brunch with the Dennis Home (1st – 3rd grade) girls. In between mass and the meal, the children got out their toys and played “restaurant” with the pretend foods from the toy box. I sat down for tea with a cup the size of a thimble, and rubbed my tummy in appreciation of the plastic burgers, potatoes and scrambled eggs they took turns bringing me.

Someone gave the home a beautiful book of children’s mealtime prayers. It was Nateela’s turn to lead the prayer, and she searched the book for a good one to use. She’s only a first grader, and some of the words stretched her phonics abilities, but we kept reading and practicing  until she had it down well in time for grace. Motivation and practical applications like that sure gives a child greater desire to learn.

A Quiet Saturday

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Today was a day to work on the weekend homily and take care of letters and paperwork. I did stop in at the Speyer home (6th – 8th grade boys). They had been hiking in the chalk hills on the North end of campus. Chance came across some deer antlers he wanted to show me. Chance plans to file down part of the antlers and use them on his regalia, since he is a traditional dancer. The students are proud when they can add to or help create their own regalia.

I walked by the William Home (4th – 5th grade girls) , and saw them sitting on the living room floor trimming soup labels and bagging them into bundles of 500. Each of the homes and classrooms are saving up labels to earn equipment, and every student pitches in to help make that possible. They also put the box tops for education that are sent in to good use. While they students get plenty of athletic activity over the weekend, sometimes it’s nice to have some quieter times for those kinds of activities.

Tears and Laughter

Friday, October 15, 2010

Today, I attended the funeral of a 34-year-old, Brian who was killed in a car accident. I knew his folks well from my days in Lower Brule where they helped out so generously with everything in the parish. When words can’t heal the heart of a parent who has to bury their child, sometimes all we can do is be there, offering a handshake or a hug.

Brian’s dad’s cousin is a priest, so Fr. Mike led the services. I know from experience that it’s hard emotionally to do a family funeral, but it means so much. Fr. Mike’s words expressed what his relatives were feeling from a very personal level. He could also tell a few family stories that helped people laugh and remember, which stirred more sharing and stories at the meal afterwards.

In the evening I stopped by the Rec Center to work on some of the exercises prescribed by my physical therapist. The Ambrose (1st – 3rd grade boys) and Afra (1st  – 3rd grade girls) homes had a free evening in the gym, and I stopped to join them. We shot a few baskets and tossed a football back and forth. I made the kids laugh at my feeble attempts at keeping a hula hoop going. My sisters were pretty good at that, but I could never master it.

Board of Directors Meeting

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Today our Board of Directors met for our semi-annual meeting. We listened as the auditors presented their annual findings. The numbers seem to be in good order, and I compliment our staff for having a good sense of stewardship with the donations people send in.

Fr. Jack was new to our Board, and he told us afterwards that he was impressed by the quality of materials our staff uses to brief the Board on how our programs are doing. In addition to all that’s going on around campus, we also heard reports from the Mission Churches in Lower Brule and Crow Creek, as well as the ongoing Social Services work taking place on the Cheyenne River Reservation. We are involved in a lot of outreach.

I have a wonderful Board and feel lots of support from them, yet still these meetings are stressful. I have to make sure to make them aware of issues we struggle with – trying to work on retention and graduation rates, keeping our costs to raise a dollar down, providing quality health care for employees with spiraling medical costs . . .  but we have been blessed by many generous people who believe in our work and help keep it going. Once the meeting was finished, I felt a sense of relief, but also a recommitment to work on areas of programs, staffing and infrastructure that need improvement.

Distant Dream Coming True

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I squeezed in three different department meetings today. Nothing earth-shaking, but just the regular discussion of staff and students in need of support. We try to be aware and proactive in addressing issues sooner rather than later, and it’s a never-ending process.

In a phone conference our architect went over cost estimates for the museum expansion that is to include collection storage and work space, a center for alumni and a historical display about St. Joseph. We can keep some of the costs down because our facilities staff is able to do significant parts of the project. Yet it will still be a significant investment in the campus. Five years ago when we identified the need as part of our strategic plan it seemed like a distant dream. But as plans develop it look more and more within our reach.

I drove three hours to Eagle Butte to be ready for tomorrow’s meeting at the Sacred Heart Center. I had some language tapes to listen to and practice with, then a baseball game on the radio to keep me company. Each time I go back to Cheyenne River Reservation (where I spent ten years) I get nostalgic as I pass houses and natural landmarks that bring back many encounters with the people there.

Pursue Your Dreams

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Stopping by the Akta Lakota Museum, I was introduced to Bruce. He went to school here in the 60’s just for a brief time, but that first time away from home made a big impact on him. Bruce has been a respected sculptor for many years now, and showed some marble works that the museum is in the process of acquiring. I offered him a tour of the campus, which stirred many memories and stories.

We ate supper with the Ambrose boys (1st – 3rd grade) which gave him a glimpse of what he may have been like at the same age when he attended St. Joseph’s. The boys were full of both questions and things they wanted to share. Daiss showed Bruce drawings of cars that he had done. Jashon brought out a ceramic cup he made in art class. Bruce encouraged our students to pursue their dreams. Those words ring truer from one who has been in their shoes.

I went to the office at night to finish up some paperwork and ran into the High School girls gathered in a prayer circle outside the building, as part of their Daughters of Tradition meeting. Afterwards they stopped by my office and told me they’d been including prayers for my own health, strength and healing. Their care lifted my spirits in a significant way.

Friends and Family

Monday, October 11, 2010

West Hartford CT – I had a day of wonderful visits. My cousin Kevin picked up some fresh bagels and we sat around the house over breakfast before he went to work. He is just 2 years older than I, and was like a big brother growing up. We did so much together when we lived closer, but now the miles get in the way. Still, it’s a relationship that we can pick right up, and talk about ourselves and our lives freely.

Another friend from the seminary days, Fr. Steve, lives a hour away and came to town for lunch. Afterwards, we sat in the backyard enjoying lovely fall weather. Steve is recovering from a break on his kneecap; so he with his cane, and me with my limp, was each going about the right speed for each other. He works as a prison chaplain, and finds many wonderful encounters with people who’ve had lots of time to consider ways they’ve hurt people, and also often reflect on the hurts in their own lives. Steve tries to help them experience healing and forgiveness.

As kids, Kevin and I spent many hours playing board games, especially strategy ones. Our favorite was always RISK. For several hours this evening Steve, Kevin, my cousin’s son Brendan and I tried to conquer the world. We strategized, laughed and talked. We all found the evening playing together so relaxing.