Tag: Fr. Steve

Fr. Steve’s updates

St. Joseph’s is a special place because of the people who carry one another through whatever trials and hardships we endure.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

My radiologist took her time meeting with me today, and I so appreciated it. She asked the bigger overview questions – how am I feeling after meeting with all the doctors last week? What are my questions now as I wrap up and go forward?

In this age of specialists, I appreciated one doctor looking over the whole process and asking how I’m doing with all of it. That in itself felt healing.

I’ve been blessed to make it through with limited pain. We still have a long way to go, and more tests have been ordered, but there is hope, and at least a short reprieve coming up.

The doctor also cautioned about rushing back into work full time when I get back to St. Joseph’s and frantically try to make up for time away.

Since January, I’ve delegated so much, and team members have responded generously and graciously. Life at school is being carefully attended to.

My doctor said I must be at a very good and special place for that to happen. She’s right!

St. Joseph’s is a special place because of the people who carry one another through whatever trials and hardships we endure.

Fr. Steve’s updates

My appointments will pick up in the next couple of days, but today was a quiet one after early morning radiation. I have great plans and energy when I start the day, yet it’s a struggle of the will to make the effort and accomplish what I hope to.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Slowly I’m tidying things up and trying to get things in order as the Friday checkout time draws near. My appointments will pick up in the next couple of days, but today was a quiet one after early morning radiation. I have great plans and energy when I start the day, yet it’s a struggle of the will to make the effort and accomplish what I hope to.

The scriptures from Acts of the Apostles the past days have been about Saint Stephen’s faith during trial:  “Into your hands I commend my spirit, O Lord.” I strive for more of that kind of attitude each day.

But when facing serious illness it’s easy to get caught up in angst and worry. It’s harder to keep hope afloat and love alive. Yet that’s God’s calling.

Tonight was the last Tuesday potluck. I’m not a fancy cook, but roast beef that simmers all day in the crock pot always comes out tender and tasty, so that was my contribution.

Those of us who finish treatment this week got the chance to share a few words with those who remain, and have been part of our journey. My life in religious community has been my greatest support over the years. Being part of Hope Lodge has also been a positive experience of community – a time of mutual listening, sharing and support. For that I am most thankful.

We thrive when experiencing such care and it’s up to all of us to make it happen wherever we find ourselves.

Fr. Steve’s updates

I started the last week of radiation! The end is in sight, but instead of making the time go easier, it seems to be getting harder. I’m anxious to get home.

Monday, April 19, 2010

I started the last week of radiation!  The end is in sight, but instead of making the time go easier, it seems to be getting harder. I’m anxious to get home. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

At times today I felt like a zombie, just going through the motions, drifting with no definite sense of purpose.  Still very sleepy. I’m so ready for this stage to get over. These are the times when I just have to hang tough and pray for patience and perseverance.

Once you speak about the fears and struggles out loud,
they lose some of their power to bring you down.

It helps having folks around to be able to talk with and vent. So many of us are experiencing similar feelings and emotions. Once you speak about the fears and struggles out loud, they lose some of their power to bring you down. The key is to face discouragements squarely in order to be able to chase them away.

Besides the camaraderie here, a couple of phone calls from friends helped give me perspective and picked up my spirits. Love and friendship are always great remedies when our spirits need a lift. I’m so grateful for people far and near who have shown such care.

Fr. Steve’s updates

Not much more to report. Still very sleepy, and took advantage of the quiet for napping. Hopefully as the chemo wears off I’ll get some oomph back before I head home Friday.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

At church in the local parish today, a family presented their newborn son for baptism. The baptismal garment was beautiful, and they shared that it belonged to the grandmother.

All nine of her siblings and each of her children had been Christened wearing it. A beautiful example of passing on faith and family tradition that brought a little more joy to the Easter Season.

One of the patients here is very interested in Native American history, and we had an animated discussion about Custer and the Battle of the Little Big Horn. I just finished reading another book on that fascinating yet tragic part of our heritage. We took our 7th graders there last year on their cultural field trip and it left a strong impression on us all.

Mike also spoke of his years working as a safety inspector. We talked of the importance of setting the bar high, whether you’re trying to prevent injuries, or setting goals for children to learn.

Not much more to report. Still very sleepy, and took advantage of the quiet for napping. Hopefully as the chemo wears off I’ll get some oomph back before I head home Friday.

Fr. Steve’s updates

Another sleepy day. I have no weekend appointments, so it worked out well to rest. I did go out to an afternoon movie to laugh and let my mind wander to more relaxing things. Then I made a big dent in long overdue emails.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Another sleepy day. I have no weekend appointments, so it worked out well to rest. I did go out to an afternoon movie to laugh and let my mind wander to more relaxing things. Then I made a big dent in long overdue emails.

It’s quiet around Hope Lodge. Many people who live within a shorter driving distance have gone home for the weekend.  I washed a couple of loads of clothes , but didn’t see anyone else in the laundry the whole time.

At lunch I talked to a newcomer who just arrived for treatment for pancreatic cancer, which has one of the lowest cure rates. But he’s facing the disease with courage and faith. There’s not a whole lot of reason to feel sorry for yourself when you see so many other people suffering much more. At supper I sat with a woman who’s husband is still hospitalized, which makes for some very long days for her.

After the chemo, my appetite isn’t all that good. I have to force myself to eat because I know I need to, not because I want to or enjoy it. I know in a few days the taste buds will come back strong, and I’ll be back to munching all the time.

Fr. Steve’s updates

I’m in no pain, but the chemo/radiation combo has drained me of any get up and go. I pray those who leave will find continued healing and new life.

Friday, April 16, 2010

I’m in no pain, but the chemo/radiation combo has drained me of any get up and go. So I’m paying attention to my body. I took three naps to get though the day.

After treatment I read a little, prayed as I could, but didn’t accomplish much of anything else. While hard to accept at times, my main job right now is to rest and let the medicine take its course.

Being a Friday, a few more patients finished up their radiation, so I bid farewell to more folks today. In a short time here you become close, and I’ll know I’ll miss seeing the familiar faces around the kitchen table as we part. I pray those who leave will find continued healing and new life.

Fr. Steve’s updates

Today was my last cycle of chemotherapy. I continue to get so much support from many different folks and thoroughly enjoyed our visit. I’m calling it an early night tonight, hoping to sleep off some of the chemo effects.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Today was my last cycle of chemotherapy.

I spent the whole morning in the chair, reading for a while, then dozing off part of the time. When we were all finished, the nurse gave me a pin with the words “Celebrate Life” written around the circle to mark my “graduation”.

I probably won’t feel like celebrating too much for the next couple of days because the chemo wears me out more than the radiation. But, I know it’s another step closer to health and wholeness, and I do feel good about that.

As I left, I told the nurses they were wonderful people, but I hoped I didn’t have to come back and see them as a client again, just for a visit.

I had another visitor, Fr. George, a Jesuit priest from South Dakota. I filled him in on the sarcoma, then we shifted gears and talked about work, church, religious life and baseball. I welcomed the stimulating conversation as it took my mind off of everything medical for a while. We had supper and I was even able to eat some small portions without any troubles.

I continue to get so much support from many different folks and thoroughly enjoyed our visit. I’m calling it an early night tonight, hoping to sleep off some of the chemo effects.

Fr. Steve’s updates

We had more detailed discussions about the upcoming surgery, meeting with many of the specialists who will be available to help with the spine, blood vessels, urinary system and the sarcoma itself.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I was in treatment or appointments from 8 – 6 today, which was very tiring.

We had more detailed discussions about the upcoming surgery, meeting with many of the specialists who will be available to help with the spine, blood vessels, urinary system and the sarcoma itself.

What’s scary is that – despite all the scans and tests they have – they really won’t know how extensive the damage is to those areas until they actually go in and remove the tumor. One doctor said, “We’re prepared for many different possibilities. We’re good at thinking on our feet, but basically we have to make it up as we go.”

The difference between best and worst cases is such a wide swing. The fact the tumor is shrinking is encouraging. Most days, I am optimistic and can find a silver lining.

Today was more sobering, facing the details of the serious nature of what is going on inside of me. These are the days I really need to walk with the Lord, trusting God to carry me through.

These are the days I really need to walk with the Lord,
trusting God to carry me through.

Fr. Steve’s updates

It’s inspiring when people leave here after successfully being treated. It’s tougher when occasionally the doctors tell a patient “there’s nothing more we can do for you here.”

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

It’s inspiring when people leave here after successfully being treated. It’s tougher when occasionally the doctors tell a patient “there’s nothing more we can do for you here.”

Tonight, I sat across from one family who got such sad news.

I promised to pray for them, but did not have words that could lift their sorrow and disappointment. I have been praying for them a lot, and the heaviness weighs upon me. We need faith and prayer, especially in the hard times when life isn’t going so well.

Fr. Steve’s updates

Before hitting the road back to the hospital, I stopped at St. Joseph’s health care center to see staff who have been good support through my medical issues.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Before hitting the road back to the hospital, I stopped at St. Joseph’s health care center to see staff who have been good support through my medical issues.

Then, I dropped by the Business Office to say hello to folks there who were beginning their work week. I said hello and goodbye almost in the same breath, yet I wanted to reconnect with the staff who work day in and day out to keep St. Joseph’s going.

Seeing a grin as I walked into an office or work area was great affirmation. Folks are genuinely concerned and shared their prayers and best wishes.

I was tired, and the drive back took a lot more out of me. I was able to get in a quick nap before treatment, which helped. I am finally starting to feel the fatigue from the cumulative effects of the radiation.

This was the first weekend I’ve been away from Hope Lodge, and it was my turn to be welcomed back and have folks at Hope Lodge asking about life and health. For only being together a few short weeks,  we share a lot with each other on this journey.