Fr. Steve’s updates

Another sleepy day. I have no weekend appointments, so it worked out well to rest. I did go out to an afternoon movie to laugh and let my mind wander to more relaxing things. Then I made a big dent in long overdue emails.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Another sleepy day. I have no weekend appointments, so it worked out well to rest. I did go out to an afternoon movie to laugh and let my mind wander to more relaxing things. Then I made a big dent in long overdue emails.

It’s quiet around Hope Lodge. Many people who live within a shorter driving distance have gone home for the weekend.  I washed a couple of loads of clothes , but didn’t see anyone else in the laundry the whole time.

At lunch I talked to a newcomer who just arrived for treatment for pancreatic cancer, which has one of the lowest cure rates. But he’s facing the disease with courage and faith. There’s not a whole lot of reason to feel sorry for yourself when you see so many other people suffering much more. At supper I sat with a woman who’s husband is still hospitalized, which makes for some very long days for her.

After the chemo, my appetite isn’t all that good. I have to force myself to eat because I know I need to, not because I want to or enjoy it. I know in a few days the taste buds will come back strong, and I’ll be back to munching all the time.

Fr. Steve’s updates

I’m in no pain, but the chemo/radiation combo has drained me of any get up and go. I pray those who leave will find continued healing and new life.

Friday, April 16, 2010

I’m in no pain, but the chemo/radiation combo has drained me of any get up and go. So I’m paying attention to my body. I took three naps to get though the day.

After treatment I read a little, prayed as I could, but didn’t accomplish much of anything else. While hard to accept at times, my main job right now is to rest and let the medicine take its course.

Being a Friday, a few more patients finished up their radiation, so I bid farewell to more folks today. In a short time here you become close, and I’ll know I’ll miss seeing the familiar faces around the kitchen table as we part. I pray those who leave will find continued healing and new life.

Fr. Steve’s updates

Today was my last cycle of chemotherapy. I continue to get so much support from many different folks and thoroughly enjoyed our visit. I’m calling it an early night tonight, hoping to sleep off some of the chemo effects.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Today was my last cycle of chemotherapy.

I spent the whole morning in the chair, reading for a while, then dozing off part of the time. When we were all finished, the nurse gave me a pin with the words “Celebrate Life” written around the circle to mark my “graduation”.

I probably won’t feel like celebrating too much for the next couple of days because the chemo wears me out more than the radiation. But, I know it’s another step closer to health and wholeness, and I do feel good about that.

As I left, I told the nurses they were wonderful people, but I hoped I didn’t have to come back and see them as a client again, just for a visit.

I had another visitor, Fr. George, a Jesuit priest from South Dakota. I filled him in on the sarcoma, then we shifted gears and talked about work, church, religious life and baseball. I welcomed the stimulating conversation as it took my mind off of everything medical for a while. We had supper and I was even able to eat some small portions without any troubles.

I continue to get so much support from many different folks and thoroughly enjoyed our visit. I’m calling it an early night tonight, hoping to sleep off some of the chemo effects.

Fr. Steve’s updates

We had more detailed discussions about the upcoming surgery, meeting with many of the specialists who will be available to help with the spine, blood vessels, urinary system and the sarcoma itself.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I was in treatment or appointments from 8 – 6 today, which was very tiring.

We had more detailed discussions about the upcoming surgery, meeting with many of the specialists who will be available to help with the spine, blood vessels, urinary system and the sarcoma itself.

What’s scary is that – despite all the scans and tests they have – they really won’t know how extensive the damage is to those areas until they actually go in and remove the tumor. One doctor said, “We’re prepared for many different possibilities. We’re good at thinking on our feet, but basically we have to make it up as we go.”

The difference between best and worst cases is such a wide swing. The fact the tumor is shrinking is encouraging. Most days, I am optimistic and can find a silver lining.

Today was more sobering, facing the details of the serious nature of what is going on inside of me. These are the days I really need to walk with the Lord, trusting God to carry me through.

These are the days I really need to walk with the Lord,
trusting God to carry me through.

Fr. Steve’s updates

It’s inspiring when people leave here after successfully being treated. It’s tougher when occasionally the doctors tell a patient “there’s nothing more we can do for you here.”

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

It’s inspiring when people leave here after successfully being treated. It’s tougher when occasionally the doctors tell a patient “there’s nothing more we can do for you here.”

Tonight, I sat across from one family who got such sad news.

I promised to pray for them, but did not have words that could lift their sorrow and disappointment. I have been praying for them a lot, and the heaviness weighs upon me. We need faith and prayer, especially in the hard times when life isn’t going so well.

Fr. Steve’s updates

Before hitting the road back to the hospital, I stopped at St. Joseph’s health care center to see staff who have been good support through my medical issues.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Before hitting the road back to the hospital, I stopped at St. Joseph’s health care center to see staff who have been good support through my medical issues.

Then, I dropped by the Business Office to say hello to folks there who were beginning their work week. I said hello and goodbye almost in the same breath, yet I wanted to reconnect with the staff who work day in and day out to keep St. Joseph’s going.

Seeing a grin as I walked into an office or work area was great affirmation. Folks are genuinely concerned and shared their prayers and best wishes.

I was tired, and the drive back took a lot more out of me. I was able to get in a quick nap before treatment, which helped. I am finally starting to feel the fatigue from the cumulative effects of the radiation.

This was the first weekend I’ve been away from Hope Lodge, and it was my turn to be welcomed back and have folks at Hope Lodge asking about life and health. For only being together a few short weeks,  we share a lot with each other on this journey.

Fr. Steve’s updates

Back at St. Joseph’s for the weekend! I didn’t always find out a lot new because the conversation quickly turned to my treatments and prognosis. It would have been easier to share all at once, but in each home I repeated the process.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Back at St. Joseph’s for the weekend!

It’s been four weeks since I’ve been gone. It felt so good to sleep in my own bedroom.

Even better was the chance to enjoy the warm sunny day by walking around campus and stopping in at many of the homes to visit students and houseparents and find out how they’re doing.

I didn’t always find out a lot new because the conversation quickly turned to my treatments and prognosis. It would have been easier to share all at once, but in each home I repeated the process.

Staff have been concerned about me and praying for me and seemed relieved that I’m able to be out and about and still have energy and an upbeat spirit. And, God willing I’ll be back in a couple of weeks to make the rounds more regularly.

I only encountered four girls in the Summerlee Home, but saw a softball and gloves in the yard and quickly organized a little batting practice. When pitching to younger kids, the challenge of pitching is not to try to get it past them, but to try to figure out where they swing so the ball has a better chance of hitting the bat.

Since they started intramural games last week, a few of the girls looked like batting champs!

Fr. Steve’s updates

When someone finishes the last of their radiation treatments they are invited to give the bell a ring – a sign of celebration, hope, and probably also relief!

Friday, April 9, 2010

On the wall of the radiation waiting room is a bell.

When someone finishes the last of their radiation treatments they are invited to give the bell a ring – a sign of celebration, hope, and probably also relief!

When I first started radiation I was in a waiting room full of strangers, but as the weeks go on, I know more and more of the faces here. Several of the folks reside with me at Hope Lodge, and the time waiting passes quickly as we chat and catch up with each other.

Today, Gene from Oklahoma and Tony from Illinois finished their treatments and a group of us showed up in support as they rang the bell.

Tony had his wife on the cell phone so she could hear the joyful peals. Gene let out a loud YIPPEE! It sounded like a cook calling the cowpokes in for dinner!

We took pictures and had hugs and handshakes all around. I’m impressed by the spirit of camaraderie, and seeing others finish up gives all the rest of us hope.

I’m impressed by the spirit of camaraderie,
and seeing others finish up gives all the rest of us hope.

Fr. Steve’s updates

I am so thankful for our many donors who make sacrifices for the children so we have the resources to run our programs and meet the needs of our students and the outreach programs on the reservations

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Back at St. Joseph’s, our board of directors met today. It felt odd not to be leading the agenda. I had treatment and consultations in the morning, so I had to limit my participation to phoning in during the afternoon.

Our budget for next year was approved. Many charities have really suffered through the economic downturn, but we’ve continued to be blessed with good resources.

I am so thankful for our many donors who make sacrifices for the children so we have the resources to run our programs and meet the needs of our students and the outreach programs on the reservations.

A youth group from the Lutheran church, mostly junior high students, served us supper tonight. I was impressed with the seventh grade boy who made the tater tot casserole on his own.

One of the girls pulled out a prayer card and did a quick interview with me so she knew who she was going to be praying for. The church organist played some lively tunes on the piano.

I was impressed with the way the chaperones and youth minister encouraged the young people to interact and mingle – and to teach them the value of reaching out to others.

I’m starting to feel the fatigue factor so many people said I would encounter by the third week. Energy has deserted me.

But, I know friends, family and the Lord will not desert me, which gives me strength to keep going.

Fr. Steve’s updates

I passed the half-way point in my radiation treatments – 13 down and 12 to go. I met with my radiologist to review how things are going. I asked about the sun-burned look of some patients, but since my radiation is directed deep inside, that probably won’t happen with me.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Today, I passed the half-way point in my radiation treatments – 13 down and 12 to go.Fr. Steve of St. Joseph's Indian School

I met with my radiologist to review how things are going. I asked about the sun-burned look of some patients, but since my radiation is directed deep inside, that probably won’t happen with me.

My side effects remain light and manageable, so the consultation was fairly short. While my doctors are pleased that it’s going well so far, I am thrilled.

We also have a date for surgery – May 25. The bad part is I’ll miss 8th grade graduation. But, I finish radiation April 23, and I get to be back on campus for a full month of all the end-of-the-year activities that fill up the last weeks of the school year.

Jim, another man from Chamberlain, is also here for treatments. We ran into each other in the halls of the hospital today. It was nice to see a familiar face and catch up on some news from back home!