Claire – Page 2 – St. Joseph's Indian School

More hands-on learning for the Lakota (Sioux) students

St. Joseph’s eighth grade girls had another opportunity for hands-on learning last week when they attended a GEMS (Girls in Engineering, Math and Science) conference at

Claire is a St. Joseph's houseparent — Claire

South Dakota State University (SDSU) in Brookings, South Dakota.

As one professor pointed out, eighth grade is a critical time for girls in math—some of them are taking algebra and for the first time are struggling to “get it.” Later, they may start avoiding taking math and science classes based on the faulty belief that it is too hard, or they just can’t do it. Besides, girls don’t do math, right? HA!

GEMS was an opportunity for them to learn that not only are math and science accessible for girls, they can be a lot of fun! They had 15+ volunteer role models to show them how great it is to be a girl-geek in engineering. Both students and professors were on hand to show them around and guide them through four activities.

St. Joseph’s eighth grade girls programmed a robot to navigate an obstacle course as part of the GEMS workshop. — The girls were careful to start their robot in the same place each time to navigate the course.

Engineering is all about solving problems, so the girls were given several cool tasks to try out for themselves.

Problem #1: Control a Robot. Instead of using a remote control, the girls wrote the actual program to guide the robot through a maze drawn on a floor mat. Wow! Just like the Mars Rover! They wrote lines of code and then tested them out on the robot, tweaking distances and degrees of turns. All the while, their college mentors modeled how to solve problems. “You might want to shorten the turn there. Make sure you always set the robot down in the same spot.” The girls were fascinated, frustrated and elated.

Problem #2: Solve a Crime. Oh no! Somebody broke into the lab, broke a planter, stole some copper wiring, and spilled a suspicious white powder on the floor. Plus, they left

While learning about how buildings are constructed, the girls wore regulation Personal Protective Equipment, or PPE. — Personal Protection Equipment – it’s what all the cool girls are wearing!

behind their half-eaten chocolate bar. That’s just WRONG.

The girls got to use techniques like fingerprinting, dental casting, foot printing and chemical analysis to figure out whodunit. I can’t wait until someone’s snacks go missing in Pinger Home, because I am sure the St. Joseph’s CSI team will be on the case. Stand back!

Problem #3: Build a New Laboratory. Well, the girls didn’t actually have to help construct a building. But they had a very enthusiastic tour guide explain to them all the different teams who have to work together to complete a complex structure (not unlike the crew who completed the Akta Lakota Museum & Cultural Center renovation last fall). Plus they got to wear PPE – Personal Protection Equipment – goggles, hard hats and reflector vests. It’s what ALL the fashionable girl geeks and engineers are wearing!

Problem #4: Build a Bridge. This was their absolute favorite activity. It involved working in a team with a tour guide. They had to build a working 6-foot bridge with tinker toys, cardboard, string and two bricks. As one girl said:

At first, I saw the space between the two desks and I thought we could never do it. And then we just… started building. I really had to exercise my brain.

The importance of mentors became really clear.

I liked building the bridge because our guide stayed with us the whole time instead of rotating to other stations. She could tell we were really into it.

The Lakota girls worked in teams to build a bridge spanning 6 feet using only string, cardboard, two bricks and tinker toys. — Their favorite task was building a 6-foot bridge, working only with cardboard, two bricks, string and tinker toys.

The girls really enjoyed their trip to SDSU, even though it meant getting up at 5am (on a Saturday!) to make the 3-hour trek from St. Joseph’s Indian School to Brookings. I really hope their experience will help them the next time they get stuck in math class.

This may be hard, but I can do hard things. I can solve this problem.

Once again, I thank our generous donors and SDSU for giving our Native American girls such an awesome learning opportunity. Girls Rock!

Hands-on learning for the Lakota (Sioux) students

Jeshua shared in his blog some of the hands-on learning opportunities the Lakota students have on St. Joseph’s campus like drum circle and inipi (sweat lodge). These past

few weeks, the students have also had some awesome opportunities for hands-on learning off campus.

Our junior high students had an opportunity to participate in Camp Med at Chamberlain’s community center downtown. Sponsored by the local Sanford Health Center, Camp Med led students through a series of stations, which focused on different aspects of the health care field. Part vocational education and part health education, students got to work with health care professionals and try their hands at some challenging skills.

Students at the Nursing station got to practice giving “insulin” injections (really just saline solution) to an orange. Although we have a student on campus who does administer her own insulin, most of the students have never used a needle and syringe before. They cautiously drew out a dose of saline and poked at the orange under the watchful eye of a local nurse. I am not sure I would want to get my flu shot from any of them just yet, but I was surprised at their level of respect and skill while handling the equipment.

Camp Med offered a host of medical-related booths to give the Lakota students a hands-on idea about careers in healthcare. — St. Joseph’s students practice injections on oranges at the Nursing station during Camp Med.

The Surgery station had a few old school Operation games for them to play—we heard a familiar brrzzzz sound pretty often as the metal tweezers touched the edges trying to reach the funny bone or the appendix. They also had the option of trying to do a laparoscopic surgery simulation, working clips and clamps from the outside of a box while viewing their actions on a monitor. Pretty tricky, even for our video game savvy students.

They really liked using the stethoscope on a model patient, and were excited at the opportunity to win one at the Career booth. Then they enthusiastically tried out their stethoscopes and “syringe” hi-lighter pens on each other. They enjoyed taping each other’s wrists and ankles at the Athletic Training booth, and admired X-rays at the Radiology booth. They tasted food thickener at the Dietary booth, but preferred the suckers they got from the Laboratory Science booth.

Maybe the scariest booth was the Infection Control station, where they used a UV light to see the dirt and germs left on their hands after washing. Ugh!
A close second was the booth where they used goggles to simulate macular degeneration, an eye disease associated with smoking. They were surprised at how poor their basketball skills were with their vision so badly clouded. Yet another reason to be smoke free!

Thanks to our generous donors and Sanford Medical Center for providing such a wonderful learning opportunity for our students!

One student remarked that she didn’t know there were so many choices in the health care field. Exposing them to these options may help students in their career planning later, especially with extreme healthcare needs in Native American communities. In the meantime, they can try out their stethoscopes and tongue depressors. Maybe they will even be inspired to do a really really good job washing their hands before dinner.

Helping the Lakota children heal with laughter and tears

On Monday at St. Joseph’s Indian School, we held our annual Healing Camp, Opiciye Okizi – A Good Place to Heal – for

students who have lost a relative or someone close to them. Camp started in 2003 when a student lost her mom to cancer—she wanted her siblings and other students to have a place grieve, heal and grow.

Each year, students pair up with a volunteer staff “buddy” to spend a day healing with prayer, Lakota ceremony and art. This has been a powerful tool for building a supportive community where students can safely express their feelings. Some students ask to participate again, year after year.

This year was very special because our community included students’ family members. The camp was extended from one day to two – on-campus accommodations were used for families coming from far away. Building strong family connections is an important goal at St. Joseph’s, and having family join with students and staff was a wonderful blessing.

One of St. Joseph’s strengths is that we can draw on Lakota (Sioux) traditions as well as our Catholic faith to make sense out of life’s journey. In camp, we talked about the assurances of eternal life that our Christian faith teaches us. We used the Lakota ceremony Wiping of the Tears to signal of the end of mourning, and the support of others in moving forward. We said the Our Father. The Chalk Hill Singers Drum Group prayed to the four directions. We asked the Great Spirit for strength and guidance. Family members boosted little ones up onto their shoulders so that they could place prayer ties in a cedar tree.

Volunteers were present for students whose families couldn’t attend. I was paired up with a young man whom I recognized from being a substitute teacher in the school. We did not know each other well, and it was a bit awkward at first. He was very gracious, as only a 10 year old can be, in allowing me to help him.

Maybe my favorite part was releasing prayers into the river. It was like a message in a bottle for the ecological-minded. Instead of messages to loved ones going into a plastic bottle, they were written on water-soluble paper.

My buddy let me help him with this one. He liked coloring the paper in his mom’s favorite color, but didn’t know what to put on it. Finally, he dictated a message, which he let me write.

He misses her.

He is doing ok.

He has stuff going on inside that is kinda big.

We climbed down to the river’s edge, which was cool for the kids since they are NOT allowed to do that Without An Adult Present. The Missouri was ice free and calm—a bit of a miracle for this time of year.

It was clear enough to see the stones under the shallows. He gently floated his message out onto the water. It dissolved, word by word and we watched until there was just one piece – “Mom” in big letters, floating in the center. Then that drifted away too.

My buddy’s favorite exercise was The Laughter. As soon as April said we were going to do a laughter game, he turned to me excitedly and said, “I know this one! It is the best!!”

All of us participants got in a line, about 22 of us in all, and counted off. We had to laugh as many times as our place in line dictated. We were in the middle, so we had to laugh about 14 times. It helped that my buddy poked me in the ribs a few times. And someone tooted. That was really funny.

So many times we forget the healing power of laughter, but it is so essential to grieving. Sometimes you just need to take a break and laugh!!

There are so many different ways to grieve, and no one way fits every one. One of the prevailing themes of Healing Camp was acceptance. Wherever you are in your healing process is okay. Do you feel like crying? That’s fine. Go ahead. Are you having a good day today and want to smile? That’s fine too. Do you have questions? Ask. Do you need a hug? We’re right here for you.

With so many students experiencing so much loss, it is such a gift to be able to offer this healing time to them and their families. Thank you for keeping our students in your prayers, and thank you for your generous support, which makes activities like these possible.

Peace– Claire

You can tell a lot about a person…

You can tell a lot about a person from how they handle a rainy day and tangled Christmas lights. Or even a snowy day and plugged up bottles of Elmer’s glue.

Claire is a houseparent at St. Joseph’s Indian School. — Claire

That was my weekend at least. Last Saturday was the retreat for St. Joseph’s Lakota (Sioux) students who have chosen to go through sacramental preparation. In typical South Dakota fashion, the weather didn’t go exactly as envisioned – bad weather and icy roads prevented some family members from joining in the activities.

When we gathered at noon to begin our day, I saw many glum faces gazing in disappointment at the fog and snow coming down outside. Just when I was beginning to feel blue myself, I noticed a young man in a snazzy dress shirt and tie. He really, really, really wanted to be there. I found his enthusiasm inspiring … even infectious.

Our Native American students were divided into groups for the hands-on activities. As they came to the station led by Karen and me in the Art Room, the students regaled us with tales from their other stations—tasting unconsecrated wine (ew yuck!); touching or trying on vestments (perhaps some future inspiration, eh?); baking unleavened bread; learning the Gifts of the Holy Spirit (for which they received candy prizes) and more.

Karen and I were assigned to help the candidates make their stoles for receiving the sacraments. This involved several days of preparation: cutting out 25 white felt stoles and drawing, cutting and assembling an assortment of felt symbols to be glued to the stoles: doves, candles, crosses, hosts and water.

The Lakota children and their families decide if they want to participate in sacramental preparation at St. Joseph’s Indian School. — The whole family was there to help – even the baby!

All this done, they day was here. Students were arriving!

When we started, we were stymied by the Elmer’s bottles, which had become plugged with dried glue. I bet Martha Stewart never had days like this… jamming pencils into the bottle necks and slathering the glop onto the cutout chalices and crosses.

Sticky hands, sticky tables and what? A nosebleed?

Somehow it all came out right, even though Karen had to do some serious hot-glue repairs the next day.

I asked one family to pose for a picture and they beamed with pride. Everyone was there to help, even the baby. They surrounded the candidate with hugs and smiles as they assembled his stole.

Another group was definitely feeling the absence of missing family members. They stuck together tightly. All boys, they seemed a little awkward standing there with their stoles and glue. An affectionate family wrestling match broke out and eased the tension. When I asked for a picture, the eldest got quite serious. He put on his stole with the glue still drying. It made him seem older and wiser somehow.

When we all joined together as a large group once again before Mass, the feeling was relaxed and happy. Nate led them all in an unintelligible game of “What if…?”

The Lakota children model the stoles they created for receiving the sacraments. — Everyone created a stole to wear on the day they will receive the sacraments.

What if you had to choose to eat a spider or a snake?

“I’d eat a spider!”

You would eat a spider? Are you crazy??

The boys couldn’t get enough of it and they hung on him like he was a jungle gym.

What could I take away from this mini-retreat? As always, I was awed by the contagious power of joy. When a person has it, they can’t help but pass it on.

I was also reminded of God’s love — a love that knows and accepts in all circumstances; a love that calls by name and overlooks the mess and the fuss; a love that is felt even when it can’t always be seen “in person;” a love that does not forget or abandon.

I feel fortunate to help prepare these precious children for a deeper relationship with God. I feel even more blessed in how they help my faith to grow as well.

Thank you to St. Joseph’s many benefactors who make learning like this possible!

Claire

Traditional Lakota Values Meet Bullying Prevention

Hello from St. Joseph’s sixth, seventh and eighth-grade homes, where we are working on our Olweus program. We kicked off our anti-bullying campaign back in

September, and we are currently in full swing.

Once a week, our Lakota (Sioux) students go to their homerooms for a class meeting on bullying prevention. They have similar meetings in their homes as well. They start off by going over the four rules:

We will not bully.

We will try to help students who are being bullied.

We will try to include students who are left out.

If we know someone is being bullied, we will tell and adult at school and at home.

These simple rules are posted in homes and classrooms as steady reminders of our commitment to making St. Joseph’s Indian School a safe, bully-free zone. Meetings are used to talk about how things are going in the community and to deal with issues as they come up. They are also times to build skills like recognizing bullying situations and intervening.

I wish I could say that we don’t have bullying at St. Joseph’s, but we do. Here, as in other schools across the country, we face the challenge of kids with more power antagonizing kids with less power (“power” can mean size, age, status, ability or social skill). Bullying is a result of our Circle of Courage values getting out of balance.

The Circle of Courage is based on the traditional Lakota values of Belonging, Mastery, Independence and Generosity. These are the core values we focus on with our students:

Beloging – I am loved, I have a place, I am a part of the community.
Mastery – I can do things well, I can complete tasks.
Independence – I can think on my own, I am reliable.
Generosity – I have something to offer, I can share my gifts and talents.

The value of Generosity can become skewed so that one person takes advantage of another. When the value of Independence gets off kilter, we forget that we need other people and that other people are as valuable as we are. If we lose sight of Mastery, we don’t work on the skills we need to manage our relationships in a healthy, fair way. Bullying mostly tears a hole in the fabric of Belonging, where we feel like we are part of something greater than ourselves.

Fostering these values is what will lead us back into right relationships with others. In home and class meetings, we talk about the subtle signs of bullying and how to tell if another student is having trouble Belonging.

We encourage students to be Independent and stand up for a student who is being bullied. It takes a lot of courage to do this, especially if the situation is ambiguous or if peers seem to approve of the behavior by laughing or minimizing. It also takes some skill (Mastery) to know what to do or say when something isn’t right. Something as simple as saying, “[That behavior] is not ok and it needs to stop!” is hard at first. It takes a lot of practice before it becomes comfortable. Role-playing in meetings gives kids a chance to try out skills and get ideas from each other.

Finally, we encourage Generosity, so our students can reach out to each other and include everyone. “Put yourself in his or her shoes… what would you want someone else to do for you?”

This week’s topic is cyber bullying. Our junior high students do not have regular, easy access to the internet and cell phones while they are at St. Joseph’s. However, many of them have access to Facebook and other social media sites when they are “home home” with their families.

Soon, many of them will go on to be part of our high school program, where they will have to deal with the added responsibility and freedom of having a laptop. Now is a good time to talk about the hazards of over-sharing on the web. It is so much easier to be cruel in the faceless world of the internet, than it is to be hurtful face to face in real time. It is also hard to tell when someone is “just kidding” in a brief text or comment, without the benefit of body language, tone or facial expression.

If you are reading this blog post, you are probably cyber-savvy enough to know what I am talking about. It is a whole different world online.

Thank you for your support of St. Joseph’s and our efforts to make our campus a safe place for Native American youth. It takes everyone in our community working and praying together to create the kind of school that we all want to be part of.

Pilamaya,

Claire, 6^th-8^th grade houseparent

Learning? No, that was just fun.

We Serve and Teach. We Receive and Learn. This is our motto at St. Joseph’s Indian School. Here we are dedicated to lifelong learning and nurturing the whole child. That is why teaching and learning expands well beyond the classroom.

Problem solving and teamwork are a few of the many lessons youth learn at St. Joseph’s Indian School. — The Native American children at St. Joseph’s learn life skills, like teamwork and problem solving.

Today is Wednesday night, so typically that would be an Enrichment night, except that our Lakota students have gone home for Thanksgiving break. Every Wednesday night, St. Joseph’s homes have activities to round out student learning.

The skills students learn can be intangible—like building healthy relationships and dealing with peer pressure— or more concrete tasks—managing money or addressing envelopes. The activities are age-appropriate. High school students have Sons and Daughters of Tradition, a culturally based group with a talking circle and visiting Lakota (Sioux) elders. The younger homes have workbooks chock full of lessons and activities.

I love doing activities with the kids. One week we talked about hygiene: why we work so much at keeping homes and bodies clean, and some of the issues that come up with poor hygiene practices. For example, sharing eyeliner can cause an outbreak of pinkeye. L

Another week we talked about the difference between being assertive and aggressive. The lessons tied together pretty well – if you have to approach a peer about a hygiene issue, how can you do that it in an assertive, non-shaming way. “Umm, would you like a breath mint? Or perhaps some perfume?”

Honestly though, the Masters of Enrichment are our Rec center staff. It is one thing to talk to kids about cooperation. The students can brainstorm lists and fill out worksheets in the home, but when it comes to actually practicing the skill, no one makes it more fun than Brian, Andy and Shoney.

I remember one particularly rough week with the 6-8^th grade girls. We had done some worksheets on friendships and qualities we look for in a friend. This didn’t stop them from bickering and foot-dragging when it came time to help a peer with a kitchen task. “It’s not myyy joooooobbbbb!”

After our designated hour of class time in the home, we had a special hour of learning at the Rec center. Shoney and Andy took them outside for some friendly competition. They were given the task of standing shoulder to shoulder and foot to foot, and walking about 10 yards while keeping their foot touching their neighbor’s. It was the Stevens girls versus the Pinger girls in a race against time. They shouted encouragement. They strategized. They coaxed. They urged. They kept it together.

The next task was to fit all 12 girls into the circumference of a hula-hoop without touching the ground outside the hoop. Suddenly their differences became assets, and their ability to get close to each other became critical. The tallest girl stood in the middle and the smaller girls hung off her like a maypole. The others squeezed and tugged and balanced on one foot to make it work. In less than 20 seconds, they accomplished what an hour of “talking” about friendship failed to do. The girls pulled together. They didn’t leave anybody out of the circle.

At prayers that night, the girls shared that they liked doing the activity. Did they realize it was all about learning? No. I think it was more like putting cheese sauce on broccoli. All they knew was that they liked it, and that they would try it again if it were offered again. Works for me.

Last night we cleaned the homes as the kids prepare to go home for break. Laundry! Dusting! Cleaning out the fridge! Not as exciting as relay races, but important things to learn nonetheless.

We have so much to be thankful for in the upcoming days. We’re looking forward to a nice break and visits with family and friends. I hope that all the friends of St. Joseph’s also have an enjoyable Thanksgiving. Wopila tanka – many thanks! Claire

My old friend Fear

Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. I get to spend some quality time with my old friend Fear. Fear has a lot to teach me, but I generally avoid her and don’t return her phone calls. Once a year though, we get to hang out and have fun for a change.

At St. Joseph’s Indian School, I hang out with Lakota (Sioux) girls in sixth, seventh and eighth grades, and they love Fear. They love to watch scary movies and tell scary stories. They love to jump out from dark corners and yell, “Boo!” They love to hide plastic tarantulas in the coffee maker and severed hands in the cereal. They also like to cause Fear by screaming for no reason, failing to come back home on time, and playing contact sports with ruthless abandon.

This is what St. Joseph’s has taught me about Fear:

Talk about what scares you. Ok, sometimes it’s true that sitting around talking about the winagi (spirit) in the basement causes everyone in the home to freak out. But it is also true that if you talk about the winagi in the basement (or the elephant in the living room) chances are you aren’t the only one who is dealing with it. Phew! What a relief! And, chances are someone else knows what to do about it. Sometimes a simple prayer or blessing can set things right again. Or sometimes you can get a friend to go to the basement with you, so you don’t have to be scared by yourself.

Stick together. My houseparent partner Cathy and I took the girls in the Stevens Home to a Haunted House. Two hours of waiting and 12 minutes of sheer terror… We moved through there like a tiny freight train, everyone packed tightly together.

Cathy led the way, taking the terror head on and clearing a path through the zombie minefield… Until she ran us all into a wall and then we got turned around and the machete guy had to break character and very nicely say, “This way, ladies.”

I grabbed someone in the dark and steered her to safety. “I got your back.” No child left behind in this haunted house! “Wait. You’re not my kid.”

Face your fears. OK, so if you’re in a scary situation like a haunted house, it is a good idea to laugh in the face of fear. Or in Freedom’s case, laugh at the ugly machete guy and say, “Nyaa nyaa, you’re in a cage. You can’t get me!” What could go wrong? Feeling braver already!

Or not. Until you realize that there is a back door to the cage. And he IS coming to get you. In that case, apologize. “I’m sorry Mr. Crazy Scary Monster Guy! I’m sure that you’re actually quite nice!” Then grab your friends and run screaming.

Have faith. What makes Fear tolerable – either in the imaginary world of a haunted house or in the very real world of St. Joseph’s – is faith. Even when we can’t see where we are going, and everything feels mixed up and crazy, we know that we are not alone. We are surrounded by love and support. We have faith that we can get through this, and that our calls for help will be heard. We can see the Spirit at work in each other and in our Tiyospaye—our extended family.

The Lakota children wish you a Happy Halloween — Happy Halloween from the Lakota students and staff at St. Joseph’s Indian School!

There are other fears that we will continue to work on throughout the year, like Chantochurchophobia – the fear of singing in church. We will prepare for scary situations by having fire drills, lock down drills and tornado drills. We will talk through daily fears like, “What is going on back home?” and “What if I make a mistake in the basketball game?” But for one night, we will have faith and we will befriend our Fear.

Happy Halloween to all our supporters and thanks for having our backs!

Starting the year off with a Bang!

Hello from the Mathias Home, where we are starting off our new year with a bang! We have eleven Lakota (Sioux) girls in 6-8^th grades. Two are new students at St. Joseph’s, and two have moved up from the 4-5^th grade homes. On top of that, we have four new staff in the home!

St. Joseph’s students love having Claire as a houseparent! — Claire has worked as a houseparent at St. Joseph’s for five years.

I am new to the 6-8^th grade community, but have worked for five years in St. Joseph’s high school program. My partner Cathy is fresh from Chicago. Today is the first day of work for the 6-day house parents, who just arrived in South Dakota this week from out East. We are all going through some changes as we try to figure out who we are, where everything is, and how we are going to work together.

The first week is usually pretty frenetic as we get all of our students checked in, get their medical and clothing needs taken care of, and get their belongings squared away. Once we have the external details in order, we start with the internal ones.

The students need to know if new staff are trustworthy. Do we mean what we say? Are we going to be hurtful? Are we going to give up on them? Are we going to keep them safe? Are we going to stop them if they go too far?

The student’s job is to feel out the limits, and our job is to be very clear where those limits are. Over. And over. And over. And over.

My partner and I are pretty on top of things, so students don’t get confused by conflicting messages. And so the students don’t “confuse” us with conflicting stories.

I have been feeling the learning curve as I learn a new set of rules and expectations, and as I find my way around a new home and a new group of kids. I think I am getting the hang of it.

The other night on duty, I decided to check in with one of my “veteran” students, Jillian, who has been at St. Joseph’s Indian School for several years. She is actively trying to figure out what the limits are in the home, now that there are different staff people here.

I told her I was writing a blog post for the donors and friends of St. Joseph’s, and I could use her help. She seemed to like being interviewed, and took a serious tone that I hadn’t seen from her before. She tried to read me, and give me the “right” answers at times, but mostly she was amazingly candid.

ME: So what is good about being back at school?

JILLIAN: Having a good time playing basketball with my friends [who I haven’t seen all summer].

Anything else? There is always something good to learn.

Like what? Umm. Math…reading. Mostly all my subjects. Anything else? I like when we go on trips. Like Lifelight. [a Christian Music Festival]. There was a girl rapper last time.

Anything else? There is always something good and healthy to eat.

Hm. What have you liked so far? Breakfast pizza!!

ME: Tell me about what is hard about being back.

JILLIAN: I’m used to being with my sisters and brothers.

And you don’t see them as much when you’re here? Yeah…my brother is somewhere else.

But your sister is here, right? [Makes a face.]

Anything else? New house parents. [Makes a face].

ME: Tell me about your dreams for this year.

JILLIAN: Meet new people. Try to get along with everyone in the home. Try to get good grades. Be a good role model. [Pause.] I would like to be Miss St. Joseph’s [for powwow.]

That’s right, you’re a dancer. Fancy shawl, right? Tell me about that. Well, when I dance…it’s like there is no one there. Just me. There is no sound.

Do you feel anything? Just the beat on the ground. Like big horses. Or a big heartbeat. There are no colors. Everything is white. Going in circles. When the drum stops, then everything goes back to normal.

[Dumbstruck.] Whoa. That is so cool. [Shyly] I dance for my ancestors, who have done it in the past.

[Over the summer, Jillian said she lost that feeling of being connected to her ancestors. She seemed pretty sad when she talked about it. I asked if there was someone on campus who could help her with this. Her face brightened when I mentioned LaRayne, her Native American Studies teacher. Yes! LaRayne would know what to do! ]

ME: Anything else you would like to share?

JILLIAN: It is hard living on the Rez! Stay in School. Stay out of trouble! Don’t give up on work!

Anything else? [Pause] I think that’s all.

Thanks for helping me with my homework, Jillian!

Wow. It has been a long week of sorting, folding, washing, talking, telling, urging, cleaning, cooking, mopping, nit-picking (literally), running, walking, shopping, teaching, writing, reminding, consequencing, listening, learning, setting limits, setting limits, setting limits, setting limits…

I am very grateful for these moments when these precious Native American girls – my girls – remind me why I’m really here.

Thanks to everyone who makes these kinds of connections possible. Your support and prayers are making it possible for us to have another great year at St. Joseph’s!

Mom, but not in a conventional way

Mother’s Day is just around the corner.

I am not exactly sure what it means to be “mom.”

It is true that as a high school houseparent at St. Joseph’s Indian School, I do a lot of mom-like things. I see the kids first thing when they get up, and I hear their prayers before they go to bed at night. I know who won’t eat onions and who shouldn’t eat beans. I cajole, correct, encourage, exhort, commend and sometimes nag. I say stupid things like, “If your friends all jumped off a cliff…” I sing the birthday song off key and with enthusiasm. But I’m certainly not mom. Not in a conventional way, anyway.

These precious Lakota children are entrusted to me by their families, and that is a big responsibility.

I find it impossible not to claim these kids, though. When I’m sitting in the stands watching a basketball game, or the Fall play, or the Spring concert, I turn to the parent next to me and say, “Oh, which one is yours? That one is mine!” And if the kids at St. Joseph’s ever pulled shenanigans in public (which they never do of course) then I’d be there, saying, “Um, yeah. That one is mine.”

And when it comes time to sit up all night with a child who has the flu and is crying for her real mom, well, she’s still mine. Or when real mom dies and he doesn’t wear a jacket to the funeral, and I see he’s dancing around in the cold, then I worry and fuss. Because he’s mine. Or if she becomes a mom herself and wonders if I’m going to be there, well yes. Still mine.

Come graduation day, I’m going to cry tears of joy, pride and sadness when “my kids” finish their time at St. Joseph’s and move on. I will probably have to call my mom, who has been through all of this before.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there: real, step, honorary or otherwise. Many thanks to the moms behind the moms, too—uncis, grandmas, aunties, sisters, and donors who support the children and staff at St. Joseph’s Indian School. And a big thanks to my mom too.

Peace

Claire—high school houseparent

What is a Sacred Heart?

Last week was the birthday of Fr. Leo Dehon, the founder of the SCJ’s (Priests of the Sacred Heart). This led to some discussions on campus about what it meant to be Dehonian. I remember quizzing our St. Joseph’s kids about Fr. Dehon once. What did they know?

Born in France!

Died in Belgium!

Had three doctorates!

Wore glasses!

While interesting, these bits of information weren’t terribly enlightening. I had some time between picking up my runner from track practice and dropping off my baseball players at the field, so I thought I would do some research.

One really obvious fact: Fr. Dehon did not have 10 teenage boys to contend with when he wanted a few minutes of quiet time.

I bet he never had to throw a wet sock off his desk as some giggling kid hit the floor behind the office door and whispered, “Don’t tell him I’m in here!” All while some other kid is screaming down the hall, “Where’s Annnnndrew??” and swinging the other wet sock with a vengeance.

My Dehonian moment was going to have to wait until after the kids had gone to bed.

In the meantime — there was dinner to eat and dishes to do. This one had to go the tutor and that one had to find his Geography book. The guys with privileges tried to run off all their excess energy at the Rec center and the ones who stayed back to do homework got hopped up on snacks and algebraic aggravation. Home meeting became a debate over sharing time on the X Box and whether or not people should leave the room when they fart.

Prayer time was calmer, with intentions offered for family, friends, baseball, track, Sandy Hook and the new Pope. And a special intention for the guy who was going to end up on the bottom of the…3..2..1…Dogpile.

I admit, I was not feeling very Dehonian at the end of the day. I was tired, cranky, and I had a pile of unfinished tasks. I was not in a more saintly state of mind the next morning either. When I finally plowed into Maija late in the afternoon, the only thing I had on my mind was making it to my day off and taking a long nap. In her infinite wisdom, she said to me, “Get out of my office and don’t come back until you have your heart in your work again.” Well, duh.

We work for the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

Not the Sacred Rule Book of Jesus. Or the Sacred Schedule of Jesus.

We are called to be heart-centered. To paraphrase the Tin Woodsman, “Hearts will never be practical, until they can be made unbreakable.” There is something reckless and un-practical about being heart-centered. This is different from being careless or thoughtless — Fr. Dehon was a learned man and he was neither impulsive nor fickle. Rather, he was doggedly persistent, even in the face of heartbreak. Kind of like someone else we know — and whose steps we are following this Holy Week.

A Sacred Heart space is expansive and inclusive and yes, somewhat foolish — letting in the lost, the weak, the so-called outsiders.

There is room for a kid who lost his mom and a kid who feels like he has to be the man of the house. There’s room for honor-rollers and homework procrastinators. There’s room for wall punchers and cookie bakers, emo-kids and hip-hoppers.

As a matter of fact, there’s room in there for everyone, including a somewhat exasperated houseparent and her laundry list of seemingly “important” things to do. If we all squish together, there’s space for you too. Just leave the room if you fart. ‘Cause that’s one rule we are going to keep.

– Peace Claire N.

The Lakota (Sioux) boys at St. Joseph’s Indian School have fun together. — 3…2…1…Dogpile!