help children – Page 21 – St. Joseph's Indian School

Tiyospaye – extended family

The eldest elder on the Lower Brule Reservation in South Dakota, 96-year-old Mabel Driving Hawk, was buried today. When I was pastor in Lower Brule, I often stopped by her home to take her communion when Mabel wasn’t well enough to come to church. Mabel always had a houseful of grandchildren, or great-grandchildren that she was looking after. Counting 31 great-great grandchildren she had 151 living descendents!

When big crowds are expected, families often move the services to the larger community center, but Mabel made it clear she wanted to have her funeral in the church that she belonged to for so many years. Fr. Joe led the services, and I just helped out by being there. More than anything else, I enjoyed standing at the entrance to the church hall, where the viewing was going on, and saying hello to her Tiyospaye – extended family as they streamed in. Some were St. Joseph’s students. Many other I’ve had some connection with in my years in this part of the country. Dave and Jean, houseparents at St. Joseph’s Indian School also came. They are close to one of the granddaughters and were asked to be her godparents, so they’ve kept the connection over the years.

Four singers carried and played the drum while leading us all to the cemetery. Afterwards, we gathered back at the hall for a meal and conversations about the memories about Mabel and catching up with one another.

In the evening, I met with a couple to begin their marriage preparation. I still occasionally fill in were needed in the parishes. I haven’t done a wedding in a couple of years, but I’ve done enough that I won’t forget how.

Lakota challenges, opportunities and struggles

Due to a few people being away, our Development Office meeting got canceled. We do a lot of good working meetings, but I seldom cry or complain when one gets canceled. Since I planned to spend time there anyway, I wandered around the offices with a little extra time to check on what folks are working on. Donors have been generous with the annual heating appeal and the Lakota (Sioux) star quilt raffle, so there are many letters to answer, along with prayer requests and questions. With any kind of ministry, you imagine yourself doing great and life changing things. Today, we spent time trying to figure out the best use of a fur coat that someone generously gave us. Every day brings unique challenges and opportunities.

Over lunch, we had a training session for all of our supervisors. The topic was time management, and I did notice that everyone was there on time. Most interesting to me was the acknowledgement that one of the biggest problems is that we too easily get distracted by “shiny objects” – things we find more interesting and attractive that pull us away from focusing on what is most important. I can make a list and cross off many things, but if I’m not getting at the most important tasks, which are often the most demanding, I’m not making much real progress. In the spiritual life, we so often speak of discernment, and trying to look to God to show us what is important, and what we can and must let go of. When I see something important that I cannot accomplish myself, that’s where teamwork and dialogue become so important.

Our 7^th and 8^th grade boys were in basketball action again tonight. The 7^th grade continues to roll with a 6-0 start to the season. The 8^th graders played hard but came up 5 points short. One of the kids was visibly upset when the coach took him out of the game, and other choked back tears when he fouled out. I spent most of the 4^th quarter over on the bench just sitting there, trying to be a calming influence and be of support. We all have a tendency to think of our kids as tough, but those times remind me that their self-esteem is fragile, and some have wounds that are not easily healed. A basketball game, school activity or home event may trigger a reaction that tells us to look beyond the behavior and ask what we need to address. Our programs try to take all that into account and help them through the difficulties of growing up years.

I was able to dunk a few times

For staff appreciation day, we started with breakfast in the school dining hall. Staff from the business office and maintenance shop don’t get as much regular interaction with our students as teacher or houseparents do, and they seemed to enjoy eating breakfast and talking to the kids. I wandered around the tables to check up on everyone. I find out more about what’s going on around campus in those settings than I do at staff meetings! The dining hall crew had to work for their own meal, but I hope they felt appreciated too.

A lovely couple from Sioux Falls, South Dakota stopped in to visit. They’ve been to our Akta Lakota Museum & Culture Center many times and make it a regular stop when friends and relatives not familiar with Lakota (Sioux) culture come to visit. But they’ve never seen the rest of what we do, and asked for a tour of campus. I met up with them while Jona was giving a tour. We get a lot of visitors in the summer, but not so many in February!

The kids at St. Joseph's Indian School love playing baseketball!

Today, was actually a wonderful day for a tour. The temperature climbed over the 60 degree mark, remarkable for February! After school when I walked around campus, I smelled beef on a grill, and my nose led me to the Speyer Home (6^th-8^th grade boys) where Mark, the houseparent, was supervising three students as they honed their own skills as cooks while grilling cheeseburgers for supper. I had to pass on that invite, for I was headed to Rooney Home (6^th-8^th grade boys) to join them for supper. The guys were outside playing basketball, so I decided to test my leg and join them. The good news was I was able to dunk a few times. The bad news is that was on a 7 foot rim! I’m walking around with no problems, but when it comes to running and jumping, I know what I want to do, but the legs don’t follow my mind just yet. I’ll keep up the exercise and therapy and keep trying for those incremental improvements.

We have a donor luncheon in the Milwaukee area in a few weeks, and this evening I met with two of our high school students, Shaylene and LaToya to help them prepare for what they want to say when they speak. Shay is a senior and has been at St. Joseph’s Indian School for 12 years, so she has previously represented St. Joseph’s Indian School. This will be LaToya’s first chance and she’s both nervous and excited. Both have a lot to say, and it was fun working with them.

Committed and passionate employees

Today, I spent much of the day either in meetings or doing paperwork. Our Child Service Team finalized our school calendar for next year, and since it affects staff, students and their families, a lot of thought and consideration goes into trying to find the best compromises around breaks, holidays and getting in the time we need for education. At. St. Joseph’s Indian School we schedule more days than the state requires, to give us a couple more weeks to provide a quality education.

Sometimes paperwork feels like busy work. But today, I finished up an annual performance evaluation for one of the department heads I supervise. Like each employee, once a year we look at how a person measures up to their job description. Each staff member also has goals to work on. Many also have key responsibilities in moving our strategic plan forward. Employees are also evaluated on expectations St. Joseph’s Indian School has of respect, communication, teamwork, attitude and judgment. In any walk of life, constructive criticism is hard to pull off, but when you speak the truth with love and care, it is the best thing you can do for another colleague. We all have room for improvement. As I look over what others are doing, that reminds and motivates me to be more faithful to my “job description” and my vocation. Evaluation can be difficult if an employee is struggling and unhappy in their job. Evaluation can also be affirming when the person is fulfilled and finding meaning in the job, and making St. Joseph’s Indian School better because they are here. Thankfully, we have many committed and passionate employees!

Building trust and comfort

Only some of the Valentine's Day gifts at St. Joseph's Indian School.

When I walked over to school today, I was amazed at the pile of balloons, flowers, sweets and other goodies on the secretary’s desk, awaiting delivery to staff and students. Some were expectedly from spouses of our teachers. But many were from families sent to their children, many miles away to help them feel loved and special.

During study hall period at the end of the day, students passed around their Valentine’s Day cards. They also got treats to take home with them. During the school day, we offer fruits or vegetables for healthy snacks. After school, I guess it will be the houseparents who have to deal with the burst of energy from the chocolates and sweettart hearts.

Jim and Marianne have been dedicated donors of St. Joseph’s Indian School for many years. Leonard, one of our houseparents, wrote up their involvement and nominated them as CORE’s (Coalition of Residential Educators) philanthropists of the year. They won the award and will be honored! Jim and Marianne live in Texas, but are very involved with our Powwow in September and also help in a big way at Christmas time. I called them to share the good news and thank them again, and they were honored and excited.

When I arrived at Pinger Home (6^th-8^th grade girls) the students were all outside playing, taking advantage of our February thaw. I wandered around and visited, and ended up tossing a football back and forth with Jessica. She is new this year, and I don’t know her all that well. We didn’t say a whole lot, but tossed the football back and forth quite a while; minutes until we were called in for supper. It’s not always what you say, but what you do that gradually builds trust and comfort, and it felt like I made some small steps with her.

You can help too

We had a sunny, windy 50 degree day here in Chamberlain today, plus so much snow has melted that you can hear water running down the hills. It was a wonderful day to walk around campus and check out the activities.

After mass, I visited Summerlee home (4^th – 5^th grade girls) for brunch. Kaelyn is a 5^thgrader who loves US History and our Presidents. She focuses on one President at a time, and had checked out all 4 books our library had on Dwight Eisenhower. I too enjoy learning about Presidents, and I’ve visited the Eisenhower Presidential Library and Museum in Abilene, Kansas. I started asking Kaelyn a few questions and I was amazed at all she knew and remembered. She even knew Eisenhower played football against Jim Thorpe when Army played Carlisle Indian school!

Kaelyn asked, “Would you vote for me if I was running for President?” I asked what she would change if she got elected? “I don’t want to wait until I’m 35, so I’d drop the age of presidential eligibility to 20 and raise the presidential term limit to 5 terms.” Being president for 20 years is sure ambitious, but I encourage our kids to dream big.

Cutting Campbell's soup labels at St. Joseph's Indian School!

Another ambitious girl is Rebecca. Donors send in Cambell’s soup labels, so we can turn them in for school and household supplies. So far this year Rebecca has cut and counted 121 bags of 500 soup labels, for a total of 60,500! With just 2,500 more, she will have earned enough for a laptop computer! Sometimes people wonder how a small donation can make much difference. Turning soup labels into a computer is a wonderful example of what can happen when many people pitch in together. You can help too, St. Joseph’s Indian School has several non-monetary needs.

Teach respect and learn values

We hosted a four team 8^th grade basketball tournament over the weekend, here in Chamberlain, South Dakota. Our boys gave it a good effort and finished second to Pierre Indian Learning Center. Crow Creek and Todd County also came up to take part. While the basketball action was exciting, my favorite moment came after we finished the first game. Since all the teams had arrived by then, members of our drum group took center court and sang the flag song. Many of our singers were still in their basketball uniforms, but they commanded respect as they honored the flag, the Lakota Nation, and all the people gathered for the day.

I noticed that when one of our players stepped to the free throw line, some of our junior high girls would call out the name of his girlfriend and giggle. After hearing that a couple of times I went up to the group and told them that if they really wanted to encourage our players, that was much more distracting than helpful. They needed to cheer for the players themselves. When I was younger, I would have ignored that and just let it pass to avoid possible conflict. But it’s the little things that give us an opportunity to teach respect and learn values, and I couldn’t silently let it pass.

I helped in the concession stand, where I could talk with students, staff and our visitors. The 7^th grade girls also set up a lunch stand in the game room. They are raising money to buy warm up jerseys with their names on them for when they take the court next year as 8^th graders. They went through lots of hot dogs and sloppy joes, as well as Valentine’s Day treats they baked.

Native American sobriety celebration

To get an early start on Valentine’s Day, we had our Sobriety Celebrations tonight in the Rec Center. Grades one through five participated in a carnival.

At the carnival, the Native American children got their faces painted! — At the carnival, the Lakota (Sioux) children got their faces painted!

We’ve accumulated a nice collection of books, stuffed animals, balls and other fun items that donors have sent in, and we were able to use those for prizes. Some games required skill, like tossing bean bags into coffee cans. Some games required luck, like the cake walk–which proved to be the most popular game. Other booths, like the one with a clothes pin at the end of a fishing pole, provided a winner every time. Our older students volunteered their time to set up a face painting booth, and kids came away from there with colorful hearts, lightning bolts and other fun decor on their cheek or forehead. What I enjoy most was the level of laughter and enjoyment I could hear when I walked into the gym.

Later, our junior high and high school students had a dance from 7:00 – 9:00. One of the houseparents joked that we should only schedule dances for a half hour because the students never really dance until the last half hour anyway. But many did enjoy the chance to socialize and relax. Each of the homes made Valentine’s Day treats, and I was amazed at the creativity. Some of the cookies and cupcakes were almost too beautiful to eat. Almost. I limited myself to one luscious cupcake.

The DJ was taking requests and I asked the rhetorical question, “So how many waltzes do you have on your playlist?” Most of our students like hip-hop music, and we do screen the songs to make sure the language is appropriate. During the fast songs the students formed a circle, and take turns stepping out into the center to bust a move or two. During the few quiet and slow songs we found out who the latest boyfriend & girlfriend pairings are. We did have one song where all the staff were asked to get out on the floor and show the students what we could do. I enjoy dancing and it’s getting much easier for me to move around as the nerves in my foot and leg bounce back since the surgery. So I stepped into the spotlight briefly as well.

The Lakota students join in for yoga

Almost all of our staff participated in a “Top 20” training today. We did so in three shifts, so the normal work and school day could go on. The program helps people see how a positive attitude and problem solving approach is so much more effective than a problem naming and blaming approach. Our students, and even our co-workers can face difficult life issues and test our patience. With humor and insight, the trainer helped staff to bring forth examples and see issues we daily face in a new light. During this time of mid-winter February “blahs”, I found the training helpful and thought-provoking.

This is the time of year we’ve also been working on budgets, so I spent a good chunk of the afternoon crunching numbers.

Native American student taking part in Yoga. — American Indian student taking part in Yoga.

I often get invited to the homes for supper, but tonight I got a special invitation to join the Raphael (1^st-3^rd grade boys) for their weekly evening of Yoga. While talking to Aleece, a houseparent, about the yoga I regularly do, she invited me to join them. She thought I would be a good role model for the boys to see a grown man doing the stretches and poses too. The Raphael home has been doing Yoga once a week all year. Besides helping the students work on their strength, coordination and flexibility it is also a good activity for calming them down before bed time. I enjoyed the fun mix of poses like the elephant–moving trunks and the race car–seated position with arms and legs extended. The boys made great sound effects while doing their imaginary racing. The Lakota students were fun to be with, and I ended the night both sore and relaxed by the variety of movements.

Back to church

A donor called the office and didn’t tell our staff what he needed, but only wanted to talk with me. I didn’t recognize the name, but returned his call. I never know what to expect, for those can range from questions about St. Josephs’ Indian School or the occasional theological question, “Please send me some more address labels”. When I reached him, he told me that after reading our letters and what we are trying to be about, he had gone back to church after many years. It had given him great peace of mind. It’s nice to know the impact we can occasionally have on people’s spiritual journeys!

This evening, I went to Lower Brule for the wake of a 32-year-old woman, mother of three, who was killed in a rollover when her car skidded on the ice last week. Those tragedies affect the whole community. One of her sons and a niece she looked after used to attend St. Joseph’s Indian School, and five nephews are current students, so I know the extended family well.

In the face of tragedy, it’s our caring actions that mean so much more than mere words.

On Rezervation in South Dakota, wake services seldom start at the announced time, but wait until people who need to be there are gathered. The time passed quickly for me, as I wandered around the hall visiting with people and hearing news of their family and events in the community. After the regular vigil service, anyone who wanted to say a few words was invited to come to the microphone and speak. I shared a scripture from Lamentations, identifying with the family’s sad and broken hearts but calling for a trust in God, and urging them to help and support one another through such a difficult time.